Alpha Queen [1]

xli

Ring. . .

Ring. . .

Ri—

I panicked and slammed the phone down on the receiver for the third time today. Dialing the numbers was the easy part but when I heard the sound of the line actually ringing, reality set in and I realized I couldn't tell them. My parents only got to the phone once and could barely say hello before I hung up.

I sat down on the bed as I tried to hype myself up. It was just one phone call, how hard could that be? Well, incredibly, as it turns out. This was the phone call to end all phone calls.

My parents deserved to know. Not just that but I needed to know what they would do.

Someone knocked on the door and announced themselves, "It's Soren. Can I come in?"

"Yes,"

Soren walked in and closed the door behind him.

"I hear from the Alpha that you have not been eating. Are you feeling ill?"

"No. I'm fine."

"May I?" He gestured to touch the back of his hand to my forehead so he could feel my temperature.

"Go ahead,"

He felt my forehead for a few seconds. "You don't seem feverish. Are you still feeling nauseous?"

"A little. But. . . that's not why I'm not eating." He seemed intrigued when I said that. I fidgeted with my hands. "I'm just anxious. I don't know what to do and I know my time is up."

I was glad that he was one of the only two people that I could confide in. He was the healer and the wisest of the wolves.

"I see. Have you talked with Alpha?"

"Not really." I hugged myself. "I'm just thinking about everything, that's all."

"Maybe you will have the energy to do so when you eat." He said gently.

"I will." But I didn't say it convincingly enough so he didn't believe me. "You can go now. I'm sure you're busy and have more important things to do."

"I want to make sure you are okay first."

All I could do was shrug my shoulders. When I was stressed I couldn't bring myself to eat. I've survived without food before it was nothing new.

Soren took a seat in one of the armchairs.

"Alpha has commanded that I cannot leave this room until you have eaten. Now, what would you like for me to bring you for breakfast?"

"Soren, really. I'm fine."

He didn't respond, he just sat there until I gave up and named the first thing I could think of.

"Okay. I'd like some eggs and toast, please."

"Anything to drink?"

"Just water. Thank you."

He got up and bowed.

When he left the room, I paced around. I did some steps over in the right corner and then the left corner until I decided to go outside on the balcony and pace around some more.

Both my mind and body were restless. The choice was consuming me.

I tried imagining what my life would be like if I had this baby. No doubt Ares would be an excellent father. He was protective, supportive, caring, and even though he was cold at times, he was starting to warm up more and more. He was good with kids and even better at teaching them. He was ready.

But could I even picture myself as a mother? Was I selfless enough, patient enough and strong enough? I never considered myself the maternal type. I could talk to kids but it wasn't like they were my own. How was I supposed to know if I was ready?

All these unknowns were giving me a headache.

I heard the door open again and assumed it was Soren with breakfast.

"You can leave everything on the table, Soren." I said without turning around.

"I'm not Soren."

I whipped around when I realized it was Ares. He had a tray of food in his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought—never mind."

Except for waking up and going to bed we hadn't been alone in a few weeks. I was guessing that he wanted to give me space, which I was appreciative of because I was too much of a mess to talk to him.

Not that I wanted to discuss it anymore with him. I knew where he stood.

He walked over to me and offered me a hefty plate of scrambled eggs mixed with onions and green peppers. There were two slices of buttered toast on the side. It smelled delicious but I just wasn't feeling it.

"Alex, you need to eat."

"I just really don't feel like eating right now." I turned away from him.

"You haven't eaten in two days." He pointed out then offered me the food again. "Please."

It was rare hearing him beg. After all, an Alpha never begged.

His blue eyes were waiting so I took a bite out of the toast.

"I don't know what to do." I couldn't even look at him anymore. I was too conflicted.

Ares just put the tray on the table inside. When he came back to me, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me close to his chest.

We stood in the silence for a few beats.

"Everything will be okay. We will get through this together."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He said without hesitation. "And an Alpha always keeps their promises."

He kissed the top of my head and I listened to his steady heartbeat.

It was strange. Being with Ares made me feel like I could do anything. Maybe it was the mate bond or the fact that he was my rock, but all I knew was that he calmed my soul.

Could the most powerful emotion in the world be love? Or was it regret—regret that you could have gone down a different path than the one you chose and only mourn what could have happened?

I peeled back from his embrace and looked into his eyes.

"I've made my choice." I squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. "I want to keep the baby."