Me After You | Choi Seungcheol

15. Wishing On You

As the seasons changed, three more months had passed with Haeun and Seungcheol treading on the thin line between a platonic yet safe relationship and the possibility of something deeper, sharing a series of "almost" moments. Just as they were about to finally give in to each other, they would either get interrupted—in a way that was almost comical at this point—or worse, one of them would back away at the last minute. It was as if they were dancing to the same music, but the beat was constantly off.

For her part, Haeun got increasingly insecure as time went on. She often felt the intensity of his gaze that would send her heart racing, but if he really wanted her, he would've tried something by now, right? She needed him to take that first step, to show her that he wanted her as his wife not only in name. But every time he held back, she was left to grapple with the notion that he simply didn't see her that way. Of course she could try initiating something, but not only did she not know how, she was also terrified of being rejected and getting her heart broken.

Meanwhile, Seungcheol was haunted by the early days of their marriage when he set very clear boundaries between them and isolated her out of a misguided need to protect himself. How could he just go up to her now and say he had changed his mind? Would vying for something more be seen as him wanting her only for her body? He couldn't bear the thought of her thinking he was trying to take advantage of her or that he was pressuring her into intimacy because that's what's expected in a marriage. Yes, he was ridiculously attracted to her, but it wasn't just that; he wanted her heart, her soul, everything.

As their first Christmas together approached and they geared up to go on a weeklong ski trip with their friends, Haeun and Seungcheol were closer than ever, but the underlying tension simmering from their unspoken feelings gnawed at them like an ill-fitting pair of shoes. Would the festive season finally present the opportunity for them to break the final barrier of their relationship, or would they continue to endlessly dance around each other?

***

"Whaaaaa, this is so generous, Haeun!" Dokyeom marveled, his eyes widening as he tore open the envelope to reveal a generous bonus check.

"Exaggeratedly so," Mingyu added with a little frown. "You really shouldn't have."

This was the last day before Dokyeom and Mingyu went on to spend the holidays at home, so as it was customary in this occasion, Haeun decided to treat them to a celebratory team lunch and gift them with a hefty bonus to show her appreciation. Maybe giving out money was a bit impersonal, but they both came from humble backgrounds, so she knew this additional income would be useful.

She waved her hand dismissively despite their reactions. "Nonsense. I know it's part of your job, but I really appreciate you two looking out for me. And for making me feel like I'm never alone. Literally."

"Hopefully we'll get to follow you around for many years to come," Dokyeom joked as they shared a laugh.

"If someone hears you saying that without context, we'll be in big trouble," Mingyu sniggered, shaking his head.

"Seungcheol and I are going away in a few days, so consider that your break starts now. I'll see you again next year," she told them as they prepared to leave the restaurant.

Mingyu's smile faltered slightly at the mention of her husband, clearing his throat to mask his discomfort. "We can at least take you home before that, right?"

Haeun smiled brightly. "Yes, of course."

"I'll go get the car; you two can wait by the entrance," Dokyeom suggested before rising from his seat and sprinting to the nearby parking lot.

"Thanks again for the check," Mingyu said once they were alone.

"You're welcome," she replied, eyes narrowing when she sensed his nervousness. "Are you okay?"