Dead Ends // Hugh Jackman

Chapter 15

Hugh isn't in his seat when I open my eyes.

I glance at my phone, checking the time. There's about an hour left until we land. Give or take. I don't know if we'll get there sooner or later. The flight attendant usually says something, but I've been asleep for the past 30 minutes. I wouldn't have heard anything, and I can't exactly ask Hugh.

Sitting up, I look around the first class seats, searching for him. Jerry is sound asleep in the row behind me, but Hugh's not around. Maybe he went to the restroom.

I'm just about to get comfortable again when I catch him in the small area separating us from the general passengers. He's talking with the flight attendant. They're standing really close together too. Maybe just a few inches apart. Whatever they're discussing only makes that distance get smaller and smaller with every passing second. Hugh's back is already pressed to the wall behind him as the attendant takes another miniscule step towards him.

I feel like I'm intruding on a really private and intimate moment, so I force myself to look away.

I'm not sure what I expected of him. Not anything really. I've seen those videos he's been in. The ones where he's kissed his interviewers like it wasn't a big deal and just a part of the segment, even though he was married at the time. I'm sure him and his ex-wife had discussed it before. But, he's single now. He can openly kiss anyone he wants to.

It's just an assumption. How do I actually know that's what's going on back there between him and that woman? It's not like I looked long enough to fully observe their expressions or body language. There could be many reasons why they were so close. I just can't think of anything aside from the one I've already zeroed in on.

To stop myself from going down a rabbit hole, I use my phone as a distraction. I open up TikTok and start scrolling through my feed. Of course, there's a video of Hugh every other swipe. I swear it's like my phone can sense he's around all the time.

I won't lie I heart every one that comes across my for you page. Sometimes, I'll favorite it. Occasionally, I'll go back and rewatch them. There's this one in particular. Everything about it is perfect. I shouldn't look at it again. Not with Hugh nearby, but he is back there with the flight attendant doing who knows what. Maybe just one little glimpse.

But, it's not, and I should've known better.

I start going through my entire collection of videos I have saved. There's a lot of them. Over 800 if I want to be a bit more exact. I have a problem. It's just a tiny obsession, and I'll make sure Hugh never finds out about it. I don't want him to think I'm a crazy fan. I guess I kind of am, but I have it under control, I swear. I know what I like isn't entirely who he really is. It's just a glimpse to parts of him, but now that I'm getting to know the person behind all the characters I heavily admire, I'm starting to like the real guy even more.

As that thought crosses my mind, I suddenly realize that all these excuses I've been making to keep myself in check aren't working in the slightest.

Oh, shit.

I have a crush on Hugh.

How did this happen? I don't usually go for guys this much older than me. Or at all for that matter. Every guy I've ever liked has always been a tad younger than me. 1 to 2 years at most.

Hugh is more than 20 years older than I am. There's no way he'd ever look at me in that way. I'm closer in age to his kids than I am to him.

That's it. I'm officially losing it. I'm going against my usual type and crushing on a man old enough to be my dad. Well, my real father is actually 10 years older than Hugh, but that doesn't exactly make it any better. Yet, it kind of does?