Mess Around | Luke Hemmings FanFic

November 25th.

"Are you guys decent?" Hailey asked, knocking far too loud. "Oh my god go away."

I throw the pillow over my face. "Whatcha guys doin?" She asks. "Sleeping! Fuck off!"

"Okay so we're good to sit in here with you guys then?" I haven't slept all night. I've been so worried that my father might just walk through the door and shoot me dead.

I was so close to sleeping and now I'm just screwed. "You're high as shit." Atlas says through a laugh. "Yes. And now we're here."

"Luke's trying to sleep. So just, try and be as quiet as possible." They both lie down between us. Hugging themselves in without an invite.

"We'll keep you safe." Calum whispered, kissing my cheek and making me feel bad for shit talking them in my head. "Thank you."

Luckily I'd slept with my jumper on because I was cold, I'm not sure I would've recovered from it if they'd seen it. I'm still recovering from Atlas seeing it.

It's not impossible because she's very gentle but she doesn't bring it up every time she sees me. It just feels normal.

Now I miss her.

She was just over there reading with Hailey and I was laying here trying to sleep, missing her so.

Of course, she wouldn't care. She's happy as a bee over there.

I did eventually fall asleep. But she started speaking French trying to teach Hailey so it wasn't impossible.

She had such a calm tone when she spoke French. She had a calm tone all the time, but it was sweet and calm. This was just calming.

I think I dreamt about it. I woke up back in her arms with the other two, I'm guessing in the living room. I could hear the invader Zim theme song. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm better now that I've actually slept. Although I have the urge to cry." She scratches the side of my head as she kisses me. "You can cry if you need to."

"Waste of a good day. What are you doing?" She hums, pulling me in closer. "Looking through a bunch of magazines- did you know that Hailey has over 3000 magazines?"

"That is absurd." I rest my hand over her stomach. "She's read them all more than once. Calum says she can get through seven a day if she's really in the zone."

"She does seem like the type. With the outfits that girl wears, the magazine is an accessory. Are these wedding magazines?" She sighs. "Yeah but none of them match, everything is just everywhere it's making me sick."

"I see. Okay, what's the theme? Not Christmassy I remember that. But winter- autumn. Right?"

"Yeah. I just don't think anybody is gonna get it as good as 10 year old me did. This is just, below bottom tier stuff here. You've gotten me so used to the luxury that everything feels so below me."

"Good. That was my goal. I'll find you a good magazine. I promise. But for right now. These will help with the idea that you want. Because you know you don't want any of this."

"You are a genius, my love." Just hearing it made me dizzy. Everything she did was starting to make my head spin. I don't think I'll ever trade it for anything.

"Atlas did you want?" God knows why that was my opening line into a new conversation. "I think so. I mean it's the same as the wedding thing. You wanted kids, I remember you telling me."

"I told you?" She nodded. "Yeah. You were- very very drunk. You said you wanted two kids but you would be more than happy with one. You don't care what it is you just want kids."

"Oh. I'm sorry." She laughed. "For what? You don't do anything wrong. First time we had this conversation, I asked you. I got nervous because you kept going to move my hair but you never did and so I just, spoke."

"We don't have to have kids, I mean it's tougher for you than it is for me- I'd be there for you obviously. But the actual- growing and birthing and the healing- it's all very different for you and I don't want you to think I'm trapping you with- I mean, into this. I just- I don't know anymore."

"Okay I need you to answer this without like- questioning me or making me question it. Do you want to have kids, with me?"

"Yes." She'd barely finished her sentence, suddenly I knew exactly how she felt the other day. "Really?" Yet she sounded so confused.

"Yes. I'm not saying your life is complete with kids but mine has always had that kind of thing. You say no and I'll just- I'll-"

"No. No I'm not doing that to you. I want kids I'm just, scared to have kids. What if they end up like me?"

"Smart? Kind? Pretty?" She pouts, humming quietly. "I was leaning more toward the, mentally ill, stripper, arsonist thing."

"The mentally ill thing would have no effect on them unless we treat them the way our parents did. The stripper thing too. The arsonist thing is just, sort of a therapy thing. But I'm serious Atlas. I want to have kids with you. Only you."

"Oh. I'll tell you what inhale been dreading this conversation. I mean it's my only thought in the shower. This entire week while I'm on my period I just keep thinking about how I know I can have kids but then I'm scared you won't want to and you'll just leave or- punch me in the nose and lick me out."

"I'm so violent in your head. I'm sorry. I wish I could do more to help you understand." I kissed her gently, her hands resting on the side of my neck. "You wanna go to the fair?" I asked. "Are you going to be okay going?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I just want to take you somewhere. I can't trap myself in the house forever. I'll get over it and he'll end up somewhere in trouble and I'll be fine."

"I'll be right there if you do need to go home. Okay? The second you start to feel like it won't go back to normal. We're leaving. Don't lie to me either cause I'll know."

"I promise I'll tell you. You look so pretty today.you look pretty everyday. But you seem a little happier." She nods. Resting herself on my chest. "I am."

"You're warm- wait no don't leave. Please." She hugs her arms around my shoulders, mine resting on her back. "My sweet girl. My beautiful girl. Oh god you're so beautiful."