Songs About Lovers, Crying, and Alcohol
(I'm not quite shitfaced, but the title didn't have the same rhythm unless I said I did. Let's get to business.)
None of these anecdotes say much about these songs. They're almost entirely about the places and people they make me think of. Enjoy?
The Pixies - Gigantic
This song was one of many that came on on R----- and I's first date, but it was the only one that made me tear up. I got so in my feelings because, in that moment, I realized I wasn't unlovable as we flirted and stumbled in my second favourite Edmonton bookstore, God bless our then troubled hearts. Also, it's the best Pixies song. No question.
AC/DC - Back in Black
Not sure if this was this song or another song off this album, but regardless, I remember my now estranged album playing me this album on a camping trip. It was my first tangible memory of rock 'n' roll, the genre that would later consume my life in ways I couldn't hope to conceive until I started getting horny (Chris Rock reference). Dad, I know you hate this band, and I hate them, too, which is why I started this list off with Pixies, but I have to remember where I came from.
Pharaoh Sanders - The Creator Has a Master Plan
I listened to most of his discography in my car this summer, but that doesn't change the fact that with no words (nevermind the lyrics to most of his songs), his shit will make you sob like a baby. Some of the most moving music to ever be put to wax.
Prefab Sprout - Appetite
Natalie used to give me shit that I would force her to watch the music video to this song every time we hung out. It's a mostly forgettable video, but God damn, this fucking song, man. This whole album is shit to put hair on your chest. But this song, forget about it. Essential, don't-care-if-it's-$30-at-the-record-store break-up music. Top to bottom killer stuff. Lyrics, ugh. Mixing, ugh. Melody, so good I'd kick a dog to justify it. God fucking damn.
The Smiths - That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
Have you ever had sex with someone after you made out in a bookstore in the winter, and the in the middle of it, promised each other you'd love each other forever to this song? Drop what you're doing and do that. Report back later. You'll see what I mean. You'll be as torn up as I always am.
Joy Division - Isolation
I sang this song with Holden in the parking lot of our old high school while bugs swarmed the streetlights in the thick of 1 a.m. This line always reminds me of myself:
Mother, I tried, please believe me
I'm doing the best that I can
I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through
I'm ashamed of the person I am
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
This song would occasionally come on in the morning at my old job, where I would attend an unusually serene parking lot and drink coffee as the sun rose and think about my lifetime of pain and ecstasy none of my coworkers would ever know. All the getting drunk alone as a teenager, all the incessant kissing of past lovers' hair, my parents' wedding (this was their song). Gone in an instant, forever in my mind.
The Smiths - Back to the Old House
R----- told me once that this song reminds her of my apartment. This was almost a year ago (Jesus fucking Christ). She once told me that my apartment was the only place on earth that ever felt like home to her, which I often could never tell if it was a lie, and I don't think it was, but I so desperately wanted to believe at the time. The hardest I've ever sobbed was when she told me that I stopped her from feeling lonely back when we spent all day together. I've never told that to anyone. She was the only girl I ever almost loved. I say 'almost' because I only ever loved the idea of her. I never got to really know her. It's something I feel I've come to accept, like a comet.
