It's 4 a.m., and it's January 2nd, 2024. This year almost feels too deep into it, like there wasn't supposed to any more years past 2015 on the Gregorian calendar. Now I don't know.
I feel scarily apathetic, and I am contradicting myself because I'm not scared by it. For the last few weeks, from the end of the fall semester onwards, I have felt an apathy that's almost at the level of the soul (if such a thing exists). You know exactly what I'm talking about, and so do I, if I'm being honest with you. I'm probably just depressed again. I know this is not a good thing. I don't want to say nothing matters because that isn't true. Everything matters so much, but I don't feel any of it. The world is without its weight.
I ought to clean up my apartment. All is not for nothing. I love you all so much.
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