Her Prince

- 28 -

- ADDYSON LOPEZ -

Hell week aka finals week was slowly but surely approaching. I did not want to think about it, but I could feel it in the school's atmosphere. Everyone was antsy, the library was starting to get crowded, the sheds were always full of students studying alone or in group, even the cafeteria looked like a review center. To avoid the crowd, inaagahan namin ng mga kaibigan ko ang pasok so we could have the whole classroom for ourselves to study for an hour or two, nagpapa-late din kami ng uwi for the same reason. Hindi kami umaalis hangga't walang nagpapa-alis na guard sa'min.

I told Julien this, hinanda ko ang sarili ko, dahil hindi naman kami forever na sabay na papasok at uuwi. My wound was fully healed, I could walk perfectly already, hindi niya na ako kailangan sabayan. But there was a slight ache in my chest. I would miss him for sure.

But then he joined our study sessions, kaya sabay pa rin kaming pumapasok at umuuwi. Just imagine the shock on my friends' faces when they saw Julien entering our classroom, and sitting beside them. They had the same expressions when Julien piggybacked inside the classroom weeks ago.

Julien, being the natural sunshine that he was, madali niya lang nakasundo at nakuha ang loob ng mga kaibigan ko. He wasn't the Hottie that my friends worshipped anymore, but their funny and adorable friend and tutor. Yes, he was also freaking smart, even Blaire was amazed. Mechanical Engineering student siya, he had different subjects pero walang hirap na natulungan niya kaming mga Chemical Engineering students sa subjects namin.

Handsome, tall, funny, friendly, and smart. What was he so perfect for? Lahat ba sila sa Engineering Hotties, perfect? Wala man lang ba silang flaws?

On our way home as usual, dumaan kami sa 7/11. Natikman na yata namin lahat ng ice cream flavors, so we decided to have yogurt today instead. Ang cute niyang kumain, I loved seeing him eat, he looked the happiest, with his eyes going adorably round, and his mouth pouting slightly as he chewed. Gusto ko na lang pisilin at panggigilan ang pisngi niya.

"May dumi ba ko sa mukha?" he asked, noticing my staring.

May naiwang yogurt sa gilid ng bibig niya, I had the urge to wipe it using my thumb, like the one in movies, but my senses were stronger, kaya inabutan ko na lang siya ng tissue. I pointed at my mouth, and he stared at mine before wiping his own. Looking away, I hid my gulp.

"Thanks, Addy." He said with that lopsided, sunshine smile of his I felt like fainting.

It felt familiar, this feeling.

This... could not be. Pagod lang ako sa maghapong paga-aral at pagre-review. That was it. Besides, Julien was too handsome, his smile was just too breathtaking, natural lang na maramdaman ko 'to. Kahit sinong makakita sa kanya, mararamdaman 'to.

We entered the condominium building and I had this very crazy urge... to hold his hand. His fingers were long and pretty, at malambot ang mga kamay niya. I had only felt them on my back and sides, kapag nakaalalay siya. Would they feel warm against my palms?

"Shit." I cursed out loud, and Julien turned to me with wide eyes. First time ko yatang magsabi ng bad word sa harap niya.

"What's wrong?" He honestly looked worried.

"May nalimutan lang ako."

"Sa campus? Balikan natin?"

I shook my head no.

"Addy, what is it?"

"I can't be like this again." I can't be a fool in love again. One-sided love or like, it was not my thing anymore. This needed to stop. Kailangan kong maalala kung anong pakiramdam ng masaktan.

"Huh?"

"Julien, saktan mo ako."

His eyes widened, "Addy, are you okay?"

"Saktan mo ko, dali."

He stepped backward, confused. "I won't hurt you."

"But I want you to. I need you to." I pleaded, "Dahil kapag hindi... iiyak ako."

"Tell me why first." Crossing his arms over his chest, he arched a brow.

I released a breath, "Pain is pain, physically or emotionally. I needed a reminder."

"Out of the blue? Why?"

"Dahil madalas kong malimutan."

"Why me?" He was of course, still confused. Who wouldn't be? I was being weird... but I needed him to do this.

"Because... you're the only friend I have with me." He did not move, I sighed again. "Fine. I'll tell you when I'm ready. Come on, Julien."

"Jules." He said, uncrossed his arms and took a step forward. "Call me Jules, first."

I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

Jules.

His nickname. Only his friends, the Hotties call him that. And if I were to call him the same... parang ang intimate. Parang wala akong karapatan.

Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Jules." If not for the stupid thing I was asking him to do, Julien might have beamed. "Do it. Please."

"Again."

"Jules. Hurt me."

His chest rose and fell, as he made another step toward me. "Close your eyes." I didn't. He was too near, parang gusto ko na lang siyang titigan. "Close them, Addy."

I did what I was told and he—

He flicked my forehead. "There. Happy?" nakangusong tanong niya, labag sa loob ang ginawa. Too cute, he was too cute.

Ask, Julien. Ask and you shall receive. Ibibigay ko sa'yo lahat.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin, "Hindi naman masakit eh."

"How about this then?" Pinanggigilan niya lang naman ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "Is this painful enough?"

It will be, soon. If I don't stop this.

"Addy?" Hana's eyes were too wide, habang pinagpapalit ang tingin sa'min ni Julien, na dahan-dahang binitawan ang mga pisngi ko.

"Saan ka pupunta?" tanong ko bago pa siya makapagsimula. She was heading out for the night, base sa suot at bitbit niyang malaking bag, na dinadala niya lang kapag uuwi siya sa kanila.

Hana's eyes were burning with hundreds of questions, but she managed to answer me. Amazing self-control, my friend has. "Pinapauwi ulit ako ni mama. She wants me home again... I told you this might be a weekly thing now." She reached for my hands and squeezed it.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Pinisil ko pabalik ang kamay niya, "Samahan kita? Masyado nang gabi kung magbibiyahe ka mag-isa."

She shook his head and smiled, "Nasa labas na si kuya. Hinihintay lang kita eh, at buti naabutan kita! Kanina pa kaya ako nagte-text."

"Sorry na, lobat ako eh." A lie, and we both knew it. "Kailan ang balik mo?"

"Sunday night kapag sinipag si kuya, Monday morning kapag tinamad. Ang dalas kang itanong sa'kin, akala yata inaapi kita! Show him, Addy! Para tigilan niya na ako!"

A reminder of pain, I told Julien. Kuya Sana was a great reminder of that. Not just a reminder, in fact, but the very reason of my heartache, and how I got to know what pain felt like. If I dare see him now, baka iba ang maalala ko. Baka manumbalik lahat ng emosyon na pilit kong binaon sa limot.

I hugged my friend tight instead, "Just hug him for me."

"Ew, no." kontra niya, bago bumaling sa katabi ko. "I'd say take care of Addy, but you're already doing that."

"Thanks." Julien smiled so warmly, Hana and I melted on the spot.

Tapping Julien on his shoulder, Hana sighed. "Ikaw na munang bahala kay Addy."

"Hana, mag-a-abroad ka ba?"

Tinawanan niya lang ako, nilapit ang mukha sa'kin at saka bumulong. "Wrap him around your finger, Addy."

I wanted to tell my dear friend, that it might be the other way around.