Richard: Hello, everyone! Welcome back!
Philip Jr: Finally! You took a hiatus that was more than a month!
Richard: It was a month and a week...
Hamilton: Yeah, you take a lot of hiatuses...
Richard: Well! My first day of school was Monday, and I haven't updated in a bit...
Philip Jr: A FLIPPING MONTH, RICHARD!
Richard: I get it, god!
Philip Jr: Fine, I'll back off!
Richard: Anyway, the next song is Dear Theodosia! This is about Burr's daughter and-
Philip Jr: Ahem, can we get to the segment?
Richard: Yes. Welcome back to-
Hamilkids and Richard: MAGICAL AUTHOR POWERS!
Richard: Today we will be bringing THEODOSIA BURR ALSTON!
Theodosia II: Father!
Burr: Theo!
Richard: Let's start.
Burr: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?
Theodosia II: You can say you love me.
Burr: But I always do!
Philip Jr: This is cheesy.
Burr: You have my eyes, you have your mother's name.
Burr: Oh, how I miss your mother.
Theodosia: I miss her too, dad.
Burr: When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart.
Richard: Actually, babies cry when they're born to get the fluids from their mom's body out of them.
(Everyone looks at Richard with disgust)
Richard: I'm a nerd, I get it.
Philip Jr: No, it was a cool fact, just bad timing.
Hamilton: Really bad timing.
Burr: Extremely bad timing.
Burr: I'm dedicating every day to you, domestic life was never quite my style.
Philip Jr: And somehow, you were the Vice President of the United States!
Burr: I wanted to be president.
Jefferson: But you didn't get that, did you?
Theodosia II: Don't be mean to my father!
Burr: When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart, and I thought I was so smart.
Philip Jr: You weren't that smart because yoU SHOT MY FATHER!
Philip: Stop being mean to Burr!
Angie: Why?
Philip: Because me and Theodosia II were a thing...
Hamilton: What.
Philip Jr: Well, since we're all spilling our guts, I like men.
(All the men back up.)
Philip Jr: Ok, now that's just stereotypical.
Burr: You will come of age with our young nation, we'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you!
Philip Jr: How cute.
Theodosia II: Very cheesy, dad.
Burr: Anything for my daughter.
Burr: If we lay a strong enough foundation, we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you, and you'll blow us all away.
Richard: *sobs silently in Act II*
Burr: Someday, someday, yeah, you'll blow us all away. Someday, someday...
Richard: That was very cute, Burr! Nice lullaby!
Burr: It's not a lullaby!
Theodosia II: Dad, you would sing that for me to fall asleep.
Burr: I take it back, it is a lullaby.
Hamilton: Oh, Philip, when you smile I am undone, my son.
Hamilton: Wait, why am I here?
Richard: In the beginning, before Philip Jr interrupted me about Magical Author Powers...
Philip Jr: Sorry!
Richard: I was trying to say that you sing about baby Philip.
Philip Jr: Ha!
Philip: Dad, that's embarrassing!
Hamilton: My son, look at my son!
Eliza: I see him, Alexander.
Hamilton: Pride is not the word I'm looking for, there is so much more inside me now!
Philip Jr: Happiness? I hope so, and then you can actually play with me!
Hamilton: You play? What are your toys?
Philip Jr: Your dueling guns.
Hamilton: I need to lock those away safer.
Hamilton: Oh, Philip, you outshine the morning sun, my son.
Philip Jr: Dad, did you just rhyme son with sun?
Philip: What a poet. *sarcastically claps hands*
Hamilton: Shut up!
Hamilton: When you smile, I fall apart, and I thought I was so smart.
Jefferson: You're smart, I guess.
Hamilton: Did you just compliment me?
Jefferson: Don't make it a thing.
Hamilton: My father wasn't around.
Burr: My father wasn't around.
Hamilton and Burr: I swear that I'll be around for you!
Hamilton: I'll do whatever it takes.
Burr: I'll make a million mistakes.
Hamilton and Burr: I'll make the world safe and sound for you!
Theodosia II: Thanks Dad!
Philip: Yeah, thanks Pops!
Hamilton and Burr: You will come of age with our young nation, we'll bleed and fight for you. We'll make it right for you. If we lay a strong enough foundation, we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you, and you'll blow us all away! Someday, someday, yeah, you'll blow us all away, someday, someday.
Richard: Alright, the song's over, which means, sadly, we have to return Theodosia II to the real world!
Burr: No!
Theodosia II: It's okay, dad, I'll see you when I get back from my voyage!
Philip Jr: *leans and whispers to Richard* Voyage? Didn't she die from a boat sinking on a voyage?
Richard: Yup, this'll be the last time Burr will see his daughter again.
Philip Jr: Sad.
Richard: Yeah. Anyway, see you next time!
Everybody: Bye!
Burr: *sadly* Bye...
A/N: yeah so i updated i lied hahaha, anyway, sorry about the month long hiatus i was tired after what comes next and i wanted to get my final days of summer in my mind. yeah, so i'm back biatch
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