Deadly Silence ||Black Noir x Reader||

Chapter 47

Y/N moved into her new beach house in Miami, trying to adjust to a new life away from all the chaos at Vought. The ocean's waves provided some comfort, but the emptiness inside her was something she couldn't ignore.

Determined to move on, she decided to start therapy. She needed to deal with the emotional baggage from everything that had happened. The past still haunted her, and she couldn't let go of the memories, especially those tied to Noir.

Even though she was trying to build a new life, Y/N couldn't completely leave her old one behind. She still worked as an agent, though her role had shifted. Now, she was more of a detective, working on cases that required her specific set of skills but without the intensity of her previous work. It was a way to stay busy, but also to keep one foot in a world she was trying to escape.

At one of Y/N's therapy sessions, the therapist leaned forward, her voice calm and steady. "Y/N, can we talk about the first time you had to kill someone as part of your job? How did that make you feel?"

Y/N sat back in her chair, thinking for a moment. Her expression was neutral, almost too controlled. "Honestly? I felt fine," she replied, her tone casual, almost detached. "It's not as bad as people think. You train for it, you prepare yourself mentally, and when the moment comes, you just do it. It's like flipping a switch. You don't really think about it—you just do what needs to be done."

The therapist nodded, jotting down a few notes. "So, you never felt any guilt or regret afterward?"

Y/N shook her head. "No, not really. I mean, I knew what I signed up for. It's part of the job, part of the life. You learn to compartmentalize. The person in front of you isn't someone with a family or a life—you just see them as the target. That's all they are."

There was a pause as the therapist processed her words. "And does that compartmentalization extend to other areas of your life? Like your personal relationships?"

Y/N hesitated, her mind drifting to Noir, and all the complicated feelings tied up with him. "Yeah, I guess you could say that," she finally said. "My love life... well, that's complicated. Weird, even. I've never really felt anything strong for anyone—at least not until this one guy came around. But we couldn't be together. It just wasn't possible."

The therapist leaned in slightly, sensing something deeper. "Why wasn't it possible? Was it because of your job, or was there something else?"

Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair. "It was both. Our jobs, our situations... everything about us was fucked from the start. And even if we could've made it work, it was dangerous. Too dangerous. For both of us."

"Do you still think about him?" the therapist asked gently.

"Every day," Y/N admitted quietly, her voice softer now. "But thinking about him doesn't change anything. It just makes it harder. But even knowing that, I can't stop. It's like he's a part of me now, whether I want him to be or not."

The room fell silent, the weight of her words hanging in the air. The therapist watched her, letting the silence settle before she spoke again. "It sounds like you're carrying a lot of emotional weight from that relationship."

"Yeah, you could say that," Y/N replied with a bitter smile. "But weight or not, I've got to keep moving forward. It's just... some days are harder than others."

The therapist gave her a sympathetic nod. "And that's okay. Healing isn't linear, Y/N. Some days will be harder, but it's important that you're here, that you're working through it."

Y/N nodded, knowing the therapist was right, but still feeling the heaviness of it all. "Yeah, I guess."

"Y/N, you mentioned that you never really felt anything strong for anyone—until him. Why do you think you felt an attraction toward him if you hadn't felt that way with anyone else?"

Y/N took a deep breath, thinking back on all the intense moments she had shared with Noir. "Honestly? I think it was the adrenaline. The whole thing felt like this twisted game of cat and mouse. We were both so caught up in it that we didn't even realize what was happening between us. He stalked me—like, actually stalked me. And we tried to kill each other multiple times. But the thing is... even when he threatened me, I knew he wouldn't go through with it. And I liked that. I liked him."

The therapist raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "So, it was the danger that drew you in?"

"Yeah," Y/N nodded, almost smirking at the memory. "It was like this constant push and pull between us. The danger, the thrill of it—it was addictive. And the weirdest part? I knew he could kill me at any moment, but I also knew he wouldn't. And I couldn't help but be drawn to him because of it."

She paused for a moment, reflecting. "I guess it was the fact that no one had ever gotten under my skin like that before. He challenged me in a way that no one else ever had. It was exciting, and it kept me on my toes. There was something real between us. And, well... he saved my life, too. He's the reason i'm alive right now. "

The therapist scribbled some notes, her face calm but clearly interested. "It sounds like what you experienced with him was intense, to say the least. Do you think that intensity made it difficult for you to walk away?"

Y/N exhaled slowly, her thoughts heavy. "Yeah, definitely. It was hard to walk away from something that intense. I think that's why it still haunts me. It wasn't just the adrenaline or the danger—it was him. Even now, after everything, I still find myself thinking about him. Wondering if things could have been different."

The therapist nodded, her voice gentle. "It's understandable. When someone has that kind of impact on you, it's hard to let go, especially when there are unresolved feelings involved."

"Yeah," Y/N agreed, her voice tinged with sadness. "But I guess some things are just too complicated to work out. Doesn't make it any easier, though."

The therapist listened carefully, maintaining a calm and professional demeanor. But deep down, she couldn't help but think, What the fuck? This has to be the weirdest relationship, and probably the most fucked-up patient, I've ever had walk into my office.