Let the church say Amen.

18.

Erica Monique Atkins:

I watched as Kierra walked Jordan out the door, and she kissed him once more... she was pissing me off really.

Kierra didn't need to kiss him that many times... she did that already , I'm right here after all.

She closed the door after saying goodbye and stood there for a second, I knew that she was holding her breath the whole time Jordan was here... I don't care, he had to leave him because I sure wasn't going anywhere. There was no room for the two of us.

Kierra then walked back to the table, her hands held her back ready to give me an attitude, I just watched her ready for it even.

"What?" I ask her,

Kierra then rolls her eyes at me then she takes a seat, "I can't just leave him Erica, it's been a day" she says to me.

"You're funny" I say to her, she out of all people should know how I felt in this.

"You did the same to me" Kierra says , and I scrunch my face taking an offense .

"So you doing the same to me cause I did?" I ask and she folds her arms at me.

I know she better not honestly, I am too grown for this shit and I'm definitely not going anywhere where she ain't there.

I said I was going to fight for her and that's exactly what I'm going to do, whether she wants me to or not.

Kierra didn't say anything back, we sat there in silence "when did you start cutting?" I ask her trying to change the subject for now.

We had a lot to talk about , a lot to figure out but most of all I want to make sure that she is safe ,

"You just go from bad to worse huh?" She asks in annoyed tone ,

I get out my seat so I can move closer to Kierra, I'm not trying to pressure her into leaving Jordan but really , we've waited this long.

We should be spending our lives together, we waited almost 8 years to get together , then we waisted another 4 years apart...

I don't want to waste anymore time.

I took a chair closer to Kierra and I sat down then I held her went for her hand, she had her arms so  folded so I gently took them out which she let me

She was wearing a long sleeve shirt, I rolled it up and I looked at her cuts... they weren't that deep or visible but they were still there it broke my heart that she was doing this to herself.

Honestly yesterday I noticed them because of luck, I was just analyzing her beauty , her body and I was overly starring at every inch of her body... seeing the lines broke me when I realized what they were.

It made me wonder what more has she tried, and if she did how far could she get.

My hand gently went over them, and I could feel her looking at me as they traveled the pattern of the scars then my eyes went to hers, I looked at her as she looked at me with my fingers still moving her arm...
"You're gonna be okay" I say to her lowly .

She blinks a little and I can tell she was trying hard not to cry, "do you believe me?"

Kierra shakes her head no, and tears fall from her eyes. "But- ....but I want to" she responds really low as her voice started cracking.

My heart was breaking as I see how hard my baby was trying to hold it together , "Let it all go Kierra"

"All the pain, all the hurt let it go... you have to start living without all that burden baby, get out of your head" I say to her , and Kierra kept crying.