Let the church say Amen.

25.

Erica Monique Atkins:

After the kids helped with setting up the table, I took the food on the table asking them again to help do it.

It was a Monday and they had just gotten back from their father coming back from school, I could tell that they were walking on eggshells with me, and as much as I hated it I also kind of liked that they weren't playing me.

I hated to be the parent who was like that but I really wasn't in the mood.

We all sat down at the dinner table.
"Wozy, get off your phone please" I say to him not even looking his way as I took the plate to dish up.

I could feel the tense energy from the table, I mean the kids could be themselves around each other and talk amongst themselves, and be as crazy as they want... I don't have a problem with that but they seemed to even be too scared to want to do that.

Have I been that bad?

"What?" I ask Krista since she was looking at me weird.

"I'm worried" she said to me.

"Well don't, I'm the momma... I worry about you" I say to her , then I put on my plate down.

"Ma you've had your shirt on backwards all day" Wozy said as Zaya chuckled.

I look down at my shirt, and I pulled on the back slightly and shit... he was right. I darted my eyes embarrassingly between them as Zaya kept being amused from the situation.

"What you laughing at?" I say to Zaya.

But in a light tone, a non-serious way... I've been serious all week, and maybe my babies deserve the mother they are used to right now.

"Kierra's fine mom" Zaya said to me, My eyes widen looking at her and she quickly gets a reaction out of Krista nudging her

"Shh shut-" Krista said to Zaya.

"What do you mean Zay? You talked to Kierra?" I asked curious.

Kierra has been missing since Tuesday night, I've been calling and texting, my texts go through letting me know that her phone was on but she doesn't respond or read them.

Her family didn't know where she was, she called her brother once letting him know to tell their mother that she was well and alive and that's all I've heard about her from her family.

Mrs Sheard calls in to check on me, and she never has any updates since Kierra didn't want to talk to anyone or tell anyone where she was.

I mean I understand being outed like that was not an ideal way for us to come out, but at first I thought she was being overly dramatic.

Then I realized that she was just coming to terms with the life out of the indoctrination and she probably felt everything return to her all at once, after all... healing is a process.

Then I started thinking about how she must really be taking it, her fear of hell, her caring about what people say sometimes... I started worrying about her mental health.

I was the only one in the family who knew that Kierra would self-harm, I prayed everyday that the truth wasn't the horrible scenarios my mind was making up

The internet was saying horrible stuff about me, yes, but it was like my baby was getting the rougher end of the stick... they called her all sorts of names,

Accused her of home wrecking, of not being a true Christian... and they were pissing me off, I don't mind my hate comments but Kierra's if I could have all their heads I honestly would.

"She texted Krista, and we FaceTimed her the other day all three of us." Zaya said.

"snitch" Wozy spat at her