A Cutters Diary (editing)

chapter 6

This butterfly project is hard. I know, its only my second day but u still want to rip into my skin so bad, watch the blood drip. I had a shower before, first in a long time where I didn't cut myself. I wanted to cry, as soon as I got out I picked up my sharpie a till my urge to cut died down a little.

I still want to cut tho, it's hard not to. I have about 136 butterfly's already.

Mum saw some today, I was stretching to fix my hair and she seem the ones on my lower tummy, she didn't say anything. I'm glad she didn't, but I kinda wish she hugged me and said she was proud. Because I am struggling so much already.

My cut on my arm, the big one I did. I hadn't realised how deep it was till now. It's healing and it's scabbed. I'm not sure if I should show mother or now. she's only ever seen a few of my cuts. But it's been easier to talk to her about it and I want to let her in a little more.

She was right, like always. I just needed to talk to some one, instead of letting it yield inside me.

For those of you who don't know what the butterfly project is here you go.

Butterfly project

1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.

2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.

3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.

4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you've killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.

5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.

6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.

7. Even if you don't cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.