To Keep You

Thirty-Two: Malachi

Love is supposed to be freeing, chain-breaking, and even life-changing. I suppose those are true, it frees you from your cage and chains before changing your life. But love is not a hero, it is simply a snake disguised as a sheep. It cages you and bounds itself to you, and yes, it does change your life, but rarely ever in a good way.

As the fire pops and crackles, I sigh deeply. It took me nearly a half an hour to find a descent enough room to spend the night. I wasn't picky but the house didn't offer me much. I just needed a bed that was not decaying and a window that wasn't broken in. This room was no picnic either. The floors showed clear evidence of water damage, the windows were littered with cracks, and the bed which Candy laid upon was barely holding her up.

Leaning back in the wooden chair, which I dragged up from the kitchen, my eyes remain on the bright fire. I was still wet from the snowstorm, but I didn't need the bed, so after peeling off as much of the wet clothing I could from Candy's shivering body. I retired to this chair and took off my own shirt to try and warm up. I doubted removing my pants would be a good idea, so I simply ignored the feeling of the wet fabric brushing against my skin like sandpaper.

Even though the room was silent, my mind was raging and unforgiving in the images that it brought to me. However hard I tried, I could not remove the memories of rescuing Candy and how she changed my life.

Biting the inside of my mouth, my teeth gritted against one another, and I did little to relieve it. I wanted to lie to myself and say that being different from one another is okay and that we'll work through it, but we cannot work on something if I continue to force her to be with me. I will never regret saving Candy, but I was selfish in kidnapping her, I should've left her at the cabin. She would've been taken to the hospital and treated; she would have been saved by her family.

She didn't need me saving her...

Blowing out a heavy breath, I leaned forward and rested my elbows upon my knees. Slowly closing my eyes, all I could see was the bullet charging from the ceiling and into Candy. Time had stopped the moment blood began to flow from her body. Everyone was in such dismay that they had failed to notice who or what had taken the bullet. The guests and others were rushing up the stairs, nearly knocking into my brothers who were racing down the stairs. They both looked as if they had witnessed death, and I do not doubt that death kissed them. However, panicked everyone else was, I was shocked and numb as I dropped to my knees in front of her pale and broken body. She was in my arms before I could even think and when Joshua grabbed me by my neck and began to drag me or rather us, from the cabin my arms refused to let her go. None of her family even realized I was taking her and I come to wonder if they even cared about her.

Rubbing my hands down my face, I threw my head back and allowed my mind to drown in the thoughts that flowed through my mind. I didn't take Candy because I expected anything from her, I took her because I was selfish and acted out on the feeling that was pulling me towards her.

Love isn't self-less, it's selfish. It wants what it wants, and God help it if it does not get it. Love has the power to give you the world, the stars, and even the sun. But it also has the power to destroy you, it has the power to change everything about you. What you once thought was wonderful, perfect even. Will never be the same in your eyes. It will always be filled with flaws and however much you stare; it will not change because it is not the problem...you are.

I could feel her eyes upon me before the shuffling of the blankets reached my ears. I didn't need to turn to know the soft patter upon the floor belonged to Candy. And as she circled around me, I could barely tare my eyes away from the fire to even glance upon her angel-like face.

"I know I should probably ask you how I got here or where 'here' even is." She paused softly as she descended to her knees in front of me. It was not a submissive pose, but rather a pose that showed she was not a threat and indeed that she did not see me as a threat either.