Black Widow

32.

I definitely had some explaining to do and that's exactly what I did.

Lando drove a brilliant race, he was so good, but he wanted an explanation after and he deserved that, after he literally saved my ass.

So we went to dinner together and I explained him everything. Why I did it, my past, I pretty much told him everything.

Except the part where my brother actually helped us. He didn't need to know that, I didn't want to cause problems for my brother.

But I also told him that I was done with everything. That I wanted to stop.

Not necessarily because of him, but because I was being sloppy, too sloppy.
And I figured it was because I wasn't having fun anymore.

Most of the time, I just wanted to be with Lando and finish it off quickly.

So I realized I just wanted a normal life, preferably with Lando.

But it still bothered me that the police knew I was there.

How did they know? How did Lando know?

I still had to ask him.

We flew back to Monaco after the race weekend. Haven't heard from Shirley after I killed that teacher.

She didn't contact me and I didn't contact her.

I guess I did what she wanted me to do. Kill her abuser, she didn't need me anymore.

"Are you stupid or something? Kill someone while Nick is there" Sin wasn't happy with me, and I couldn't blame him.

"It wasn't me who wanted to take that case in England, do you even know who gave me the case?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"It was Shirley" I said as I gave him the crumbled paper. "He abused her and she didn't even tell me"

"Shit" he mumbled, looking at the paper in his hand.

"Who tipped the police, Sin?"

"I don't know" he shook his head. "It happened in England, I can't look in their files and I haven't seen Nick yet"

"Hmm" I muttered.

"Why? Do you think it's Shirley?"

"Maybe" I answered.

"Okay" Sin said. "Nick invited me to dinner tomorrow evening to introduce his new girlfriend, and you're going with me"

"Me? Why?"

"Because you can distract the girlfriend while I ask Nick about the case" he pointed at me and back at him. "Maybe he will be too high of love and tell us things we aren't supposed to know"

Yeah, he kinda tends to do that.

Turned out I wasn't completely done with the Black Widow after all.

I was gonna do one more kill, the one who ratted me out, even if it was Shirley.

Especially if it was Shirley.

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The sky is already black when Lando slide into bed shirtless. He went out tonight, with Max Verstappen, said I could come too but I wasn't feeling it.

Because I had to talk to Sin, but he didn't need to know that.

I gave him the key to my apartment, because I had no secrets for him anymore. He could read my Black Widow diary if he wanted, he knew everything anyways.

"You're awake" he said, leaning onto his elbow, putting his head on his hand.

"I don't sleep well anymore" I whispered as I turned my body to him. "I just feel... heavy"

He took everything surprisingly well, I don't think a lot of people could sleep next to a serial killer, but he did.

"Come here" he wrapped his arm around my waist and tugging me into his chest.

My back settled against his chest as he tucked me in close.

"I know who you really are, Bonnie" he said softly. "I know the real you"

He does, he so does. He knows everything, he's one of the few people that does.

"Now go to sleep before I start thinking about doing something else" he pushed my hair out of my neck and kissed me softly against my neck.

We haven't had sex yet. I told him I was ready to try it but he just shook his head when I said that.

He said he would wait until I was completely sure I was ready.

But how can someone be absolutely sure about that?

"We can try?" I whispered, but I'm sure he caught the doubt in my voice.

"I thought not. Sleep, Bonnie" his arm tightened around me. "You're not ready" he whispered.

"Stop reminding me" I said as I snuggled deeper in his arms.

"Maybe you're not the one I'm reminding"