L [o/i] ve is a journey

Torwards a dream (The Second Day Part 1)| Anxiety

Anxiety woke him up the next morning. He slowly opened his eyes, unsure, if he wanted to sleep in or not.

The bed next to him was empty. She was gone. He raised himself in shock: has he been abandoned? Left behind?

But before the feeling of that could settle into his mind, he heard a „Morning!" from the side of the room. Nerivie was still there, a plate standing on the floor, which seemed to be her current meal. He was unable to deceiver what it was. Or, by the look and smell of it, has been initially.

The block and pen were still with him, so he he started a new paper: „What are you eating?"

„Breakfasht!" she answered wth a full mouth. He sighed. He was misunderstood, and the shock still sat deep within his heart. Lunaris pointed on the „What" of the question.

„Cold scrambled eggs and bread. This city really hates waking up before afternoon." Nerivie responded, „I think, we should get you actual breakfast, and I should really stop trying to cook with my magic." She took the still full plate and put it on the small bedside table.

Lunaris watched her walking to the bathroom and humming a song he didn't know, while brushing her shoulderlong hair and starting to braid it. With more or less success, as the shorter strains just popped out, trying to connect themself to whatever was in the direction of the sky. The plate on the bedside table stood there, and it felt like a shame to waste the food. Even, if the scrambled eggs were actually discernable. Indeed, he was hungry, and that food couldn't be-

The short glance to the plate and the smell told him otherwise: it was an impossible mix of some eggs that were not fully fried, but also TOO fried. No wonder she didn't eat it hot, and would probably have not eaten it cold either. His look of pity for the miserable condition the egg was in and thus, was wasted for nothing, was more of resigning to the faith to be out and about today again. There is no day to hang out in the room, and just keep „talking" to her, was there? He threw a last thought at what was supposed to be „scrambled eggs and bread", and watched how she was braiding her hair. Why didn't she bought some food outside? He thought, while looking at all the strains of hair that just didn't want to stay in.

He couldn't know she was considering it, even bringing some of the sweets, fruits and bread she found to the room, but there was one simple answer to that question he had sitting in his mind. One pityful look by Neri into the fast risen depths of her wallet when she checked on her riches. Of her 40 gold coins she just got yesterday, only 10 gold and some silver and copper was left. That was not poor, surely, but not exactly rich either. And to feed two people for a longer duration of time, including the equipment and other things that they both needed, was a reason to look into contracts at the guild to live as comfortable as possible in the future.

„Do you want to join me for today?" Lunaris heard her asked and put the thought in the back of his head. „I need to carry out some tasks before the heat is too much. And yesterday, I offered you to see if you have an affiliation to an element. Are you interested to learn more about that?" She smiled and took her hood up, clipping the cresent moons into it.

Her white Foxmask with the red marks and the embedded red jewel in the middle of its forehead made him remember what she said the night before: „It hides my curse." He wondered, what curse she was talking of. But then again, it was not his place to think, or question that, let alone to go against her wish. The anxiety was back again.

He never had a talent for anything, let alone an affiliation. It was more than possible that this endaver would result in a very expected failure for him. Then what? Would she abandon him, like others did before? He realized she was waiting for an answer, and thus, he took the writing pad into his hand and with a feeling of anxiety and insecurity, wrote the question on it: „What if I don't have any?"

Nerivie had thrown her hooded manteau over herself and stopped closing the big button on it for a moment, looking at him in pity. Her heart hurt for him. Had she not said during that meal, that everybody had one? Had she messed up and forgot to say it, specifically? But then again, it was so natural for her to explain magic, Neri was nearly sure she said it correctly.

So, there was no way he didn't have any! Even if it's weak, he would have one. So, if she mentioned it correctly, then Lunaris was in utter disbelief he was capable of anything. To have his dignity taken away so thouroughly, she thought, that there isn't even the thought of a possibility of having any powers left.. She lay her hand on her heart, as that would stop the pain she was feeling for him, and showed him a gentle, encouraging smile: „Why do you think that?" she asked finally.

His response was quicker than anticipated, but the handwriting was still shaky. His answer affirmed what she had been thinking: „I have never been good for anything." He lowered his eyes in shame and anxiety before lowering his head.

„Nobody else than you can determine that. I am convinced, you can do a lot of things. Just as I have a lot of things I cannot do." she said, trying to encourage him a little bit, and her heart was throbbing by this. You have to patient! Confidence grows from achievements, after being carefully taken care and raised with experience.

The disbelief in his eyes had widened them up and he looked stunned at this revelation: then, he took to the pen again to write another question: „There is things you cannot do? But you can even use magic you shouldn't be able to."

Nerivie nodded: „Oh, I am good at fire magic, yes, and I am really happy learning new spells, even if they aren't of much use for me. But I cannot read maps and get lost a lot. I also attract monsters as if they smell me from afar, or if something else is going on. and then, I cannot cook. I have been eating everything good made by others, and everything terrible made by me. I was often closer on dying because I ate something that wasn't prepared correctly, or shouldn't have been eaten at all! I only know how to cook things from Ferun, and the area around it, but even that is more meh than anything. So I know the feeling of starvation, and appreciate the value of good food."

Lunaris carefully listened to her list, and it seemed to lift his spirt up a little bit. He then continued to write his response down again: „But, you do have magic. What, if I don't?"

„I might have forgotten to tell you yesterday, or explained things in a confusing manner. I do that a lot. So, I apologize if I did. You do have magic, too. Because everybody has an affiliation to one of the seven elements. The manifestation changes, and thus, how strong the connection to that element is. Most people are on an average level, which is always enough to handle most situations." She had an upbeat smile while telling him this.

Then, she stepped to the door: „I wait down for you outside to get ready. And don't worry about anything!" she smiled brightly, and left the room to give him space.Lunaris watched her closing the door and stared at it for a while in silence.

The smell of the scambled egg suddenly reached his concience again, and it became putrid. The sensation felt like a cry for help from the poor, poor eggs, one, that was getting louder every minute.

He peered at them, and then his eyes filled with disgust- and pity. He might not be good at anything particular, at least not to the standards somebody like him are held to. But even if he wasn't good for anything, he could still cook. He can make himself useful by cooking. Even if it's all he would, and could do, if she decides to take him with her travels, he would make sure she never made herself sick from the food on the way in between cities again.

The smell started to insult his nose, and he stood up and disposed of it before getting ready.