L [o/i] ve is a journey

Change Of Season | Jealous

Lunaris had the large, prickly ball of spikes in front of him.

He had never seen a creature like it, let alone one of this size. A huge, spiky ball that grunted in annoyance when you got too close and rattled its spines.

Lunaris felt pity and admiration. If I were pulled out of the raging currents, I would be too exhausted to defend myself. Unfortunately, I have to get closer to heal this large needle ball of its exhaustion. he thought and waited until the poor thing was completely exhausted.

Then, as the huge hedgehog opened up and surrendered to its fate, Lunaris took a few cautious steps towards him. Hedgie grunted threateningly, but without the power behind it, it was just an empty shell of a threat.

Only when Lunaris healed him and Hedgie began to feel less exhausted did the fairy-eared hedgehog realize that he was safe. Clumsily, and grunting, he followed the people who brought him out of the rain.

Lunaris watched his new spiky friend go.

And then, suddenly, he caught Nerivie talking to a person he never seen before.

Granted, he knew he was one of the magicians the guild, and therefore in extension the guards, hired to keep the wall safe, but he didn't know his name, and in this busy times of learning a new perspective of fear and respect for nature, it didn't seem important to him. That was, until he saw Nerivie smile at him.

Suddenly, a new feeling grew in him, one, that lived outside this very existential fear of being swept away but the gurgling, furious mass of water and soil that surrounded the walls of the city. One that wasn't quite the same, but very similiar. And strangely familiar.

Suddenly, he felt a fear of being replaced.

What if, he thought, she yearns for somebody she can talk with, really talk with? About her craft, about her travel experience, who doesn't have a studder, who doesn't need to be taught a different language to actually be able to talk. Who is so much more entertaining than me, who is actually able to hold conversations? She would shove me aside, wouldn't she? Maybe she grants me the grace of following her, but I will be secondary to everything. Who would want to be, and travel, with a basically mute person?

He saw how the other magician stretched out his arms to the side, and how she touched him. Steam raised up from his clothing, into the air, in a thick cloud. He watched them exchange a few more words, and then, go their seperate ways. And while the relief nearly made him feel guilty, the feeling stayed with him.

He felt how it whispered to him: ‚One day, a day you will expect it the least, her eyes will fall onto somebody else, and she takes that person with her. And then, you will become secondary. An afterthought. A burden. What then, Lunaris? What are you going to do then?'

His chest tightened, and he felt like he wasn't breathing properly.

Weird. When did he become so attached to her? Sure, from the very beginning, he knew he was hers, just like a slave belonged to his master. But he wasn't a slave, from the very beginning. He decided that she was his, just as he was hers. She never gave him the same feeling, but also never been cold torwards him. He only knew care and appreciation, a form of love even.

But he hated the prospect of being replaced, and being shoved aside, and still be bound to his word. Suddenly, his fear turned into petty mischief. If she can't be mine in the future, I will have her now. Lunaris thought. I would be the first for everything she wanted to share with me, and I will offer her everything I have to share. Nobody could take that from me, even if that person took her with them.

„A Red Bald-Rock Squirrel!" somebody yelled.

A FUCKING WHAT?