Love and Resilience

Unspoken Resolutions

Jovana’s POV

After hearing Serena's explanation, the real reason she left me, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It wasn’t because she didn’t love me or because she wanted to hurt me. It was the opposite she was trying to protect me. Serena left because she feared I’d suffer more if I stayed by her side during her battle with cancer. I wasn’t mad at her. Not then, not even now. In truth, I loved her so much that I couldn’t even muster anger toward her.

We sat in the hospital garden after that heartfelt conversation, and for the first time, I felt whole again. Serena hadn’t left me out of selfishness. She left out of love. And now, she was back, and I wasn’t going to let go.

As much as I wanted to stay by her side, I had responsibilities to attend to, so I left her room with my heart lighter. But as I walked down the hospital corridor, I crossed paths with Dr. Cassandra. There was something odd about the way she looked at me. She greeted me like she always did, but it was different something in her eyes gave her away. Was it guilt? Resentment?

I pushed the thought aside until I remembered what Serena told me earlier how Dr. Cassandra had come to her room and said, "You don’t deserve her." That sentence echoed in my mind, and I clenched my fists, frustration building inside me. How could she say that to Serena, knowing the battle she’s still fighting?

I stopped by a nurse’s station and asked one of the nurses if she’d seen Dr. Cassandra. I told her to send Cassandra to the hospital garden when she had a moment. I needed to settle this.

Minutes later, I stood in the garden, pacing, waiting for her to come. My mind swirled with a mix of emotions anger, confusion, and sadness. I didn’t have to wait long before I heard footsteps behind me. Dr. Cassandra stood there, her expression unreadable.

She spoke first, her voice calm yet defensive. “You wanted to see me, Jovana?”

I turned to face her, my voice steady but sharp. “Why did you say those things to Serena?”

Her eyes darkened as she crossed her arms. “I said them because I’m concerned about you, Jovana.”

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure. “I know you’re concerned, but that doesn’t give you the right to say something like that to her, lalo na ngayon na nilalabanan pa rin nya yung sakit nya."

Cassandra’s expression hardened. “Sinaktan ka nya. Umalis sya ng walang maayos na paalam, pati eksplanasyon kung bakit ka nya iniwan. You spent months questioning your worth, wondering what you did wrong, and now she just waltzes back into your life, and you accept her without hesitation? Naaalala mo pa ba kung gaano ka nya sinaktan? How much pain you went through, Jovana?”

I shook my head, my heart pounding. “Naaalala ko lahat, Cassandra. But she didn’t leave because she didn’t love me. Iniwan nya ako kasi gusto nya akong protektahan. And I understand that now. I understand why she did what she did. And you know why? Because I love her.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of something anger, sadness, or maybe jealousy. “Damn it, Jovana,” she snapped, her voice rising. “I was there. I was the one who stayed by your side when you were suffering. I saw how vulnerable you were, how broken you were because of her. I stayed with you through it all, and all I ever wanted in return was for you to love me back.”

I felt a pang of guilt, but I knew I had to be honest. “Thank you,” I began softly, “thank you for being there when I was suffering. But, Cassandra, I didn’t ask you to do that. I was fine suffering alone, even if it hurt. I told you from the beginning that I couldn’t love you back. I tried to push you away, but you insisted on staying, saying that it didn’t matter if I couldn’t return your feelings that you’d stay by my side anyway. And now, after everything, you’re throwing those words back at me? Cassandra, wag mong isumbat sakin yung mga bagay na hindi ko naman hiningi sayo at sinabing gawin mo.”

There was a heavy silence between us. Cassandra’s face tightened, her jaw clenched, but she didn’t speak. I could see the conflict in her eyes anger mixed with sorrow, and perhaps regret.

I turned my back to her, ready to leave, but then I heard her voice again, low and bitter. “You’re a smart doctor, Jovana... but you’re foolish when you're in love.”

I paused for a moment, her words stinging more than I’d care to admit. But then I exhaled, a sad smile tugging at my lips. “I know,” I whispered, not looking back as I walked away, leaving her standing alone in the garden.

After our conversation, I walked down the sterile hospital corridor, my frustration bubbling beneath the surface. I ducked into the nearest restroom and splashed cold water onto my face, hoping it would cool the heat of my emotions. How could Dr. Cassandra say such hurtful things to Serena when she had been the one who insisted on staying by my side, despite knowing I couldn't return her feelings? I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. I needed to clear my mind before going back to Serena.

I made my way back to Serena’s room, hoping to find solace in her presence. The sight of her sleeping peacefully was a sharp contrast to the turmoil I’d just experienced. It was almost as if, in her sleep, she was removed from the harsh reality of her health problems. I approached her bedside quietly, careful not to wake her too abruptly.

Sitting down beside her, I gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, admiring her even in the midst of her struggle. I whispered, “You’re still beautiful, even though you’re going through so much.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and a soft, sleepy smile spread across her face as she recognized me. “Jovana,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with warmth. “I didn’t expect to see you. How are you?”

I smiled back, feeling a mixture of relief and affection. “I’m okay.  Just had to clear my head. And I talked to Dr. Cassandra. How are you feeling?"

She shifted slightly, wincing a bit but still managing to maintain that gentle smile. “Better now that you’re here. I’ve been thinking about what we talked about earlier. It means a lot to me that you’re here, and I’m sorry for the pain this has caused you.”

I shook my head, holding her hand gently. “There’s nothing to apologize for, Serena. I understand now why you did what you did. I just want you to focus on getting better. That’s what matters most.”

Her gaze grew more serious. “You mentioned you spoke to Dr. Cassandra. What happened?”

I sighed, the tension returning to my shoulders. “We had a bit of a confrontation. She said some things that were hurtful, questioning why I’d take you back after everything. Iniisip nya na sinaktan mo ako dahil umalis ka ng walang paalam and explanation, nagagalit sya na tinanggap kita agad na para raw bang hindi ko iniisip ang mga nangyari."

Serena’s expression turned pensive, her fingers tightening around mine. “I’m sorry if my actions have caused any trouble between you two. I never meant for that.”

“It’s not your fault,” I reassured her. “It’s more about Cassandra’s feelings and how she dealt with them. Sinabi ko sa kanya na umalis ka dahil gusto mo akong protektahan, hindi dahil hindi mo na ako mahal, pinilit kong ipaintindi sa kanya yon. Pero sarado ang isip nya para intindihin yon, she was hurt and angry.”

Serena looked at me with a mixture of concern and understanding. “It’s hard when people we care about are in pain, especially when we can’t fix everything for them. I appreciate you standing up for me.”

I squeezed her hand, trying to convey my support through the gesture. “I just want to be here for you. You need rest, and you’ve had a long day. Try to get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

She nodded, her eyes growing heavy again. “Thank you, Jovana. For everything.”

I stood up slowly, brushing a kiss on her forehead. “Rest well, Serena. I’ll see you soon.”

As I quietly left her room, I saw Tita Izza arriving, a look of concern on her face. I gave her a reassuring nod before slipping away to give them some time together. The weight of the day’s events still lingered, but seeing Serena’s peaceful sleep gave me a small sense of calm. It reminded me of why I was willing to face all the difficulties because my love for Serena and the commitment to our shared journey made everything worth it.