P.S. I Lime You

Chapter 21-Wesley

June 29, 2012

A week had gone by since I tried to offer Mrs. Jensen's roses to Mariah. Every day for that week I showered her with gifts, and thoughtful notes telling her that I was thinking about her. I would watch as she would throw my gifts and notes by the front door without even acknowledging the thought I put into them. Finally, I received a response from her. It was a lime that had the words promise is to vow as deception is to lie in black Sharpie. I hated how much she was smarter than me. There was no possible way to figure out what those words meant. She was brilliant. Dating her was like reading a captivating novel, every page made sense, and you never wanted to put the book down, until the ending completely screwed your mind up with a bunch of nonsense.

"Wesley, long time no see, where have you been?" Dr. Carolin asked just as I had walked up to her office.

"Funny that you ask, I ran into her, Mariah, I ran into Mariah and I talked to her, well tried to at least."

"Go on..... wait, did you say you talked to her?" Dr. Carolin was surprised.

"Look at you, Wesley James has got his game back!" Dr. Carolin looked excited for me, but I could tell it was sarcasm.

"Not quite..." I expressed with sadness.

Dr. Carolin let out a small sigh.

"Wesley, I believe one of the hardest lessons in life that we have to learn in order to love, is to let go. As much as it hurts, as much you fight to save what little you have left over, you have to tell your heart that it will be okay. Fill your time with things and or people that make you happy. When it all comes down to it, we are human beings who need relationships, we thrive off the acceptance of others, and we are built upon the praises of people." Dr. Carolin kept trying to build me up, but all I was receiving from her was that I sucked at being me, and that I should trade myself in for someone far less vile. I faked being sick just to go home. I didn't want to talk feeling the way I felt. I needed to be alone. I told Dr. Carolin I would be back in ten minutes. I left her office and explored the building looking for a quiet place to call my dad. He had been gone for the past two weeks on a work related trip. The phone rang and rang, but he didn't answer, so I left a message. I text him too, come home soon, I need you. Fifteen minutes later I found my way back to my therapy session.

"You're late," Dr. Carolin said as she rolled her eyes waiting for my excuse.

"Is that an instinct with you women?" I blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Carolin was appalled.

Insert foot in mouth. "The eye rolling, it seems like all women are born with the prissy attitude of eye rolling whenever you ladies don't get your way." I had crossed the line with a professional. Note to self, when in the professional setting, it's safe to just shut up!

Dr. Carolin wasn't impressed. She shook it off.

"Wesley, I've been meaning to ask you. What happened to Tyler?"

"What makes you think anything happened to him?" I questioned defensively.

"Your tone our last session," she said.

I didn't want to tell Dr. Carolin, so I lied, again.

"He's good, he's real good," I said, smiling as I nodded my head.

"Just to make sure I'm all caught up, let me run through a recap. A few weeks ago you were telling me you ran into Mariah, then you were...." Dr. Carolin continued to say what she needed to say and I was staring out of her office window looking down at all the people. There was a man double parked getting a ticket, there was a woman in tight yoga pants walking her dog, and then there was another guy who looked like he was in his mid-twenties. He was at a local jewelers shop looking into the glass at wedding rings. He had a cheesy smile on his face, which probably meant he was ready for the next commitment in life. On one of our dates, I took Mariah to this open field to have a picnic. We sat right in the middle of nothing. I made her favorite, a turkey and pepper jack cheese sandwich, and I made myself a peanut butter and jelly.