𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕
i've had a pretty hard couple weeks and i guess i've been projecting it on lottie, she broke up with me the other day. i haven't slept since, i've been so depressed lately and that just really topped it off.
it was 23:10 and i was just looking up at my ceiling, i would usually sit with fez and just let him tell me too stop being so sad but he was out. i was awoken from my thoughts to lots of knocking at the door i lazily walked to the door opening it too see lottie crying and barley holding her self up. she was shaking and holding herself up with the doorframe.
she fell forward into my arms and i couldn't even fully hold her, i was just as exhausted as her. "i'm s-so sorry ashtray i really need you...." she cried uncontrollably pulling me as close to her as she could. "what's happened?" i coldly said shutting the door behind her pushing her off me. she fell on the couch crying and coughing.
"please i'm sorry!" she dizzily held her head in her hands, i moved them from off of her face and looked at her. she was clearly having a panic attack so i couldn't hold my grudge with her, "come on." i waved her over into my arms, "just take slow breaths." she shook her head and desperately clung onto me i ran my hands through her hair.
"i'm sorry for braking up with you i thought you were making me sad and that we weren't good together- but then i realised that umm... it's just because i'm worried because i love you so much..." she crawled up closer to me but i didn't really want too much to do with her right now. "well you fucked up..." i yelled slightly.
"i-i i've..." she stood up wobbling and falling, i caught her in my arms and felt tears form in my eyes. "cmon... you're okay ma... right?" i asked laying her on the couch. i couldn't dismiss her when she's like this.
"no... i'm scared... i can't lose you." i sighed as she clung onto me, "you hurt me lottie." i spoke sinking into the couch pulling away from her. "i know... i didn't mean to, but i am not begging you to love me again- i just wanna help."
"shut up you know i love you i am just struggling... you could tell and you still left me." i admitted swallowing the lump in my throat and taking a deep breath. "but i'm here now a-" she began but i cut her off, "come on lottie..." i sighed.
"i'm sorry and i love you... i want to help you, i want to stay with you and just do anything for you." i looked at her half smiling and wrapping my arms around her. "now stop cryin'" i said resting my head on her shoulder.
