Seasons- Golden Hours

🍷Rest on someone🍷

Agastya 

I get it... I helped Eshani more than I should have but the rage in Inder Kaka's eyes was personal. It was almost as if he wanted to stop something that was inevitable. 

When Eshani asked me to help her I could have said no, it was really that easy but the fear in her eyes was transparent. 

The days after she signed that contract and I stalked her made me learn one thing about her that she never asks for anything easily. When she asked for my help, I couldn't deny her. 

A very little light remaining inside me also remind me of my younger self who wanted nothing but a little guidance. I understand that whatever happened to me was just to make me strong but I don't expect Eshani to go through all that. 

She was sitting in her room, her eyes pinning on the book placed in front of her. She was wearing round specs and scrunching her eyes. I remembered how dreaded she was watching me taking an Ice bath this morning. 

"Hey." I can't believe I said that.

She slowly looked up from her book, this time I was wearing a black t shirt with lower. "Hey." She mumbled, her voice softer than its ever been. 

"I just came to... check on you." I leaned on the door frame, she was unnaturally quiet, her gaze fell on my arm where the mark from wooden stick appeared. 

"Does it hurt?" My brain took some time to adjust those words. Hurt? Am I allowed to get hurt? 

"No. I told you, right?" I walked inside the room, sitting on her bed. It smells like oranges and vanilla now. 

She shifts slowly, touching her finger on my wound. "That's torture."

"Its a tradition Eshani." Her eyes wander back to mine, transparent as a glass. 

"Its- what is the purpose of it?"

"In our family we prioritize discipline over anything." She is the first person of my age I am telling about my family to. 

"But-"

"I don't expect you to understand." I unknowingly make circles on the bedsheets. "You were strong out there."

"Really?" She puts her book down and place the blanket away from her. She changed into a white casual outfit, a unicorn pendant is there in her neck. 

"Yes, not everyone takes looking someone getting hit by a wooden stick while they are punished to be inside an ice bath so strongly."

She poke her elbow on my arm. She always does this when she is scared someone would read her eyes but I do. Her eyes reflect the hurt and concern. "You bath like that daily?" I nod at her question to which she doesn't say anything further. 

"Do you want to see a place with me?" Her eyes light up with my proposal. The rain from before got lighter and the weather got clear and sunny. 

She steps out from the bed. She had paired white t-shirt with dark blue shorts. I wear an overcoat but she is so excited to wear anything over her clothes. 

"Don't you have a jacket?" 

"I don't need it." She dance while walking and humming. 

I take her to a lake near my mansion where no one comes except me. She is the only person I brought here. We sat down on a bench and the warm sunlight falls over us. 

As the air flows against out direction, her hair floats wildly some of them brushing on my face. The sensation tingles me in a way it should not. 

"The place... it's gorgeous." She let herself loose in the beautiful scene but for the first time my eyes is somewhere else and not the lake view. 

"You know whenever I come to this place, it lets me think outside my own little world." I tell her things that I keep to myself. 

The bench is short enough to graze her fingers on mine and she doesn't notice it but I don't pull my hand away from her knowingly. 

"Its because of the lake, isn't it?" She points at the dark blue lake covered by wild flowers and grass. "It looks so calm and composed in every situation." Her eyes dart towards me. "Just the way you were this morning." Her face drops again as she remembered the morning scenes. 

"I read one of the books about discipline and there was a shloka that hit me." Our eyes interlock and the air turned chilly carrying the fragrance of mud after the rain. 

 "indriyajayasya mulaṃ vinayah" 

"What does this mean?" She rubs her forearms as the chilly air touched her. 

"The root to conquer your senses is to be disciplined." her lips part and she nodded. I looked up at the sky, letting myself lean on the bench. "I wanted to conquer all of me, my senses, my soul, my brain..." I took a pause to feel my heart running like a thunder. "My heart." 

"Did you?" and I could only smile at her question. "You don't have to be so hard on yourself Agastya. Whatever it is that you are fighting for, I am pretty sure there could be an easy way for it." She lets her hand hold mine. 

"Unfortunately, there isn't another way Eshani." I caress her fingers softly to which she nods, her eyes also look into mine. 

"So you are like me, living a life you don't want to?" She chuckles dryly, her eyes change and turn darker. "Things would get better, I am sure." She touches the scar on my eyebrow and all my control threatens me to end right there. 

"Don't." my voice comes out low, dangerous. 

"Why?" She graze her finger once more before I hold her hand, pulling her close. 

"Because you don't know anything that's going inside me Eshani. This- this storm, this madness." The blood roars inside me because of her touch. 

"I feel safe with you." She looks down, caressing her palm on my fingers. 

"You should not." If only she knew the amount of people I killed and the thoughts I have for her, she would run away. 

I be the rational one and shift away from her, pinning my eyes at the lake but today the sight does nothing to me. 

The silence between us turns thicker and thicker with every second. The waves of water, rippling and the leaves shedding at us. The sun dancing on the lake that was reflected in her eyes before. 

"I don't think so Agastya." Her voice pulled me out of the deep dark thoughts being woven inside of me. "You aren't unsafe or dangerous. You just feel bad for the choices you had to make." 

I look back at her, her eyes softened and her hands clumped down together rubbing each other to produce warmth. Feeling bad? I am in a place now where I enjoy people fearing me when I make them shed blood. 

"I am in a place where I can't look back now, I can't stop anymore." Not after I came this far. 

She placed her hand on my shoulder, I could feel the warmth of her skin even under my jacket. "Everyone needs a shoulder to rest on, sometimes." She sounded as if she wanted me to rest on her, hug her, let me loose myself in her embrace. 

Rest on someone? Before today I have never been introduced to something like this. Her golden body, her softness, her warmth... would she let me rest on her if I ask her to?

I stood and removed my jacket and threw it upon her, looking away. 

"What happened?" She asked but I moved a bit far from her. 

"We should go now, its late." She nodded wearing the jacket that covered her till mid thighs and smiled after feeling warm. 

The way she made me feel today was something that couldn't be undone anymore. The warmth, the comfort that she bought up was something I had never been introduced to. 

My whole life, I was struggling with being the best one in competition but today it felt like she looked inside me through the armor. 

And something inside me bloomed when I thought I am nothing but a barren desert where only cactus could survive. 

A voice in me ringed- I would protect her with my life. 

Beautiful chapter with beautiful song for you guys💖