Ineffable ꕥ Joost Klein ꕥ

33.

Joost explained everything from start to finish.

From the first moment he saw Roan with Nathan, to the events of last night, Joost left nothing a secret. He told her about the sim card that Nathan had planted on her and the conversation he had with Roan in the aisle of the corner shop. He told her how Roan died and that Tantu was the one who left him in the skip to be found the next morning.

Not once did Elke move to sit down and Joost withstood the exhaustion of standing with her. She never interrupted or asked questions. The only reaction Joost got was the parting of her lips and the widening of her eyes at the most shameful parts.

By the time Joost had finished, it was mid-afternoon and their coffee cups were empty. His wounds hurt and his bandages needed to be changed. But after explaining all that had led up to this point, Joost waited in the thick silence.

His head whipped to the side with the force of Elke's slap. She had been so quick with her hit that Joost didn't have time to strengthen his neck. The sting in his cheek joined the aches in his collarbone and side. Joost didn't have to force himself to stomach the feeling as he turned back to Elke, whose hand now covered her mouth in shock.

'I'm sorry-'

'No, don't be sorry. I deserved that. I deserve worse.'

Elke's limb had acted on it's own and the realisation settled in after the impact. Seeing Joost's reddened cheek and askew frames made her response automatic, but as he fixed his appearance, Elke didn't regret the slap.

Joost was a criminal. He dealt with some of the worst people on the planet. He had known what Roan was up to and continued to talk to Elke as if it was nothing. He knew Roan was dead well before the news report and had consoled her in this very apartment. Joost brought her to the car meet, knew that it could have turned sour, and when it did, he didn't attempt to explain to Elke why his car was now full of bullet holes.

Not only was Joost at the root of Elke's feeling of betrayal, but Alanis, Apson and all of his friends were, too. They were all in on the secret and were not the people she thought they were. Just like Donnie, who she hadn't had the chance to form another perspective on, they were criminals.

'Where's the money?' was all she could ask. Her voice was shaky and after Joost's retelling of last night, it was the one thing she could decipher that wasn't linked to the anger and betrayal she currently felt.

'We still have it. We need it for leverage.'

Elke shrunk into the sofa's cushion with her head in her hands. With all that had happened, the backpack was still causing her grief. She had been watched for months by Joost, Nathan and god knew who else and she didn't even know it. Elke felt exposed, her life being a show for people she had only just met.

No matter how much he wanted to hold Elke in her distressed state, Joost remained standing. He was convinced that he looked hopelessly pathetic. To explain to the woman he adored how he had snuck around behind her back was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

The way Elke looked at Joost with a creased brow, like he was a stranger, broke his heart. He never wanted Elke to look at him like that. He wanted to be her safe person, the one that she could rely on and not have to look over shoulder when being with him.

Lifting her head from her hands, Elke stared at the wall past Joost. She felt his burning stare and thought about the next thing that her mind could decipher from all the information.

'Why did you help me? You couldn't stayed out of this. If you knew that it was Nathan's money and that it would lead to this-' she shifted her eyes to his bloodied bandages '-then why didn't you just leave me and Roan to it?'