yun hi tu mere saath rehna

Chapter Seventeen

“Haan, Badi Maa,” Armaan assured her for probably the fifteenth time. “Main saare papers le aunga.”

“Armaan, woh past litigation records bhi chahiye,” Mishti reminded him. 

“I know, Badi Maa,” Armaan told her. “Mujhe yaad hai kya-kya laana hai. Ab aap phone rakhengi toh main sab dhoond paunga na!”

“Achcha, baba. Rakh rahi hoon. Bye!” Mishti exclaimed, hanging up before Armaan had a chance to reciprocate. Armaan chuckled fondly. Sometimes, Mishti reminded him too much of Abhira. They were so similar in so many ways. Abir liked to say it was the Maheshwari in them. Armaan might be beginning to see what he meant. 

Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand. He was at the firm, gathering all the documentation for the land case. Mishti had told him she didn't want to keep the papers at the firm and would feel better if she had them. So, he'd turned up to the firm to bring everything to her. 

It felt a little weird, being back. He had not been to the office after Rohit had taken over apart from the one meeting he'd had with Abir & Mishti in the conference room to relay the good news. Outwardly, nothing was different, yet, nothing was the same. Abir & Mishti's offer kept occupying Armaan's thoughts. 

He had listened to Abhira and made a pro & con list. Two, actually. One for joining the NGO & the other for staying at the firm. For the second time in his life, the first being when he chose his own happiness with Abhira over Kaveri's desire to see him wed to Ruhi, Armaan did something selfish. He did what everyone had suggested and thought only about what he wanted, not giving his family's preferences a second thought. 

When he did that, the answer became obvious. The two lists were mirror images of each other, with the only pro of continuing at the firm being the single con of joining the NGO - not disappointing his family & abiding by his Dadi Sa's wishes. If he had been the same Armaan he had been before he met Abhira… Heck, had he been the same Armaan he had been last month, before he realized what Abhira meant to him, he would have not even given the NGO a second thought. 

The family's happiness was paramount for that man, even more than his own. But, this wasn't the old Armaan. He was the Armaan who had tasted the happiness of Abhira's presence by his side. He was the Armaan who had felt the love of a supportive family. He was the Armaan who had experienced the rush of truly being useful to society. And that Armaan, a much improved Armaan, was nowhere near the same man who would have given up every single joy in his life for one smile from Kaveri.

The lists burned a hole in his pocket, a constant reminder of what awaited him, if only he had the courage to choose his own happiness. Armaan knew that he would have a long road ahead of him if he did what his heart so desperately wanted. And, for the first time, the thought of that struggle halted his steps. Was he really strong enough to stand up against his grandmother? Up until now, his only mission in life had been to keep her happy. Her approval meant the world to him. He didn't know how to go against her, even if that would be better for him in the long run. 

And, then there was guilt. He would be hurting her, hurting the entire family with his decision. The firm had never been just a place of business for anyone in the Poddar clan. For them, the firm had also been their home. It represented their legacy, their hard work, the blood, sweat, and tears that generations of Poddars had put in to bring the firm where it was today. All Armaan had ever craved was the love of family. Being a part of Poddar & Associates gave him that. They gave him a chance to be a part of the family in a different way. Knowing he walked those same steps that his ancestors had filled his heart with joy. He didn't know if he was ready to leave that yet, even if he understood that leaving was the better choice. It was a dilemma not easily overcome.