Curveball- Strike Zone Series Book two

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kayleigh

      I fiddle around with the ice pack on Nate's knee. I know he's hurting, I saw the way he hobbled in. He must have been out there all night waiting for me. I don't know why he didn't use his key. He does pay all the bills here, Nate has more of a right to be here than I do. No! No! I have rights, I need to think better of myself. I'm worth this.

     I've come too far in the last six months to start backtracking now. He wants me here. Nate said he loves me, so this shouldn't be as hard as it is. He asked me to move in, so that has to mean something more to him and it should mean a lot to me. It does, I just have to not doubt myself or Nate. I need confidence to finish this up. I had it on the beach, I just need a little more to say what I want.

      Keep going, girl, tell him everything you want from him.

      "I want a future with you." My heart is beating out of my chest right now.

      I'm scared to see Nate's face. He's not moving and he's stopped interrupting me. I've never been so nervous about telling anyone anything before. Nothing has ever meant so much to me. Taking a chance, I look up from under my lashes and see a small smile beginning to spread over his face.

      "Sweetheart, I want that too." Nate finally speaks and moves closer to touch my face.

      The back of his fingers brush my cheek, before he wraps those fingers around the back of my neck. Those big blue eyes stay on mine as he slips his other hand up my thigh. He inches forward and leans in like he wants to kiss me.

      I want this. Him, I want him.

     I love how gentle he is with me. Nate has never been rough, he's never pushed me to do what he wants. I know there have been times I've gotten on his nerves, just because I hold back, despite that he slows down for me. Nate always makes sure I'm ready for where he wants me to go. He's let me come to this point all by myself and I need to do that for him. I need to know this is right because I feel it, not because someone told me to.

       This is right for me.

      "I'm not done." I pull back and brush his hand away. I have to tell him everything or I never will. "I've spent most of my life running away from my feelings. I think I've been afraid of rejection most of my life, but you never pushed me. You accepted me, just the way I am, and let me trust you. I've pushed good people out of my life, because I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to take the chance. I didn't think I was worth it. I didn't think I was worth being loved. When you're told that for so long, you tend to believe it."

     I can see his frustration with me. And his fear that I'm going to push him away too. I've been doing it for so long now, it has become a habit. One I know I need to break. I can, if he just lets me finish this.

      Nate takes hold of me around the waist, lifting me, until I'm in his lap. His lips touch my neck, warming me up immediately. I've been cold inside all my life, but I never feel cold with him. His breath is hot on my skin as he speaks softly not to scare me away.

"Kayleigh, you're worth everything to me. Baby, please, let's just...."

     "Stop, please!" I place my palm over his lips to silence him. "Let me finish." Nate nods slowly, but kisses my palm before I can take it away. "You're changing me, my feelings have changed about so much that I thought was for the best. But you're making me feel like I'm worth more than I thought. I don't want to lose that. You.... I don't want to lose you. And I don't want to run anymore. I want roots."

     Nate smiles, a big bright smile that takes my breath away. Okay, this is going better than I thought it would. I have to keep going. I have to say it all or I never will.