Suicidal thoughts aren’t just “I want to die,”
They are the quiet erosion of my will to live,
The slow decay of light inside my chest,
Where hope once bloomed but now lies dormant,
Buried beneath the rubble of every “I’m fine” I never meant.
They’re the mornings when the weight of waking feels unbearable,
When even opening my eyes is an act of rebellion against a body
That no longer knows how to exist without pain.
It’s the suffocating heaviness of a thousand tiny deaths
That happen every day inside me,
And no one even notices.
They are the unanswered prayers, whispered into the void,
Begging for peace, not through death, but through silence—
A silence that swallows the noise of my own mind,
Where every thought feels like an anchor pulling me deeper.
They are not just the craving for an end,
But the exhaustion of living in a world that feels too loud,
Too sharp, too indifferent to the quiet chaos inside me.
They are the guilt that festers,
Because how can I feel this way when others have it worse?
How do I explain the shame that follows every fleeting thought of escape,
As if I’m betraying the ones who love me by even imagining an out?
It’s the battle between wanting to disappear,
And knowing my absence would break the hearts I’m trying to protect.
They are the long nights staring at the ceiling,
Wondering if this is it,
If the ache will ever soften,
If my existence will ever feel less like a burden
I’m forced to carry every single day.
They are the dreams of sleep so deep
That I never have to wake up again,
Not because I want to die,
But because I don’t know how to live
With the weight of everything I can’t say out loud.
They are not just a cry for help,
But the whispered admission that I’m drowning in plain sight,
In rooms full of people who don’t see the silent storm,
Who don’t feel the tidal waves that crash inside my chest
Every time I try to breathe.
They are the quiet resignation
That this is how it will always be—
Not dead, but not truly alive,
Caught somewhere between the two,
Waiting for someone to understand.
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Canvas of Emotions: Painted in Poetry
PoetryCanvas of Emotions: Painted in Poetry is a powerful collection of poems that explores the depths of human experience, from the shadows of despair to the light of resilience. Each poem is a brushstroke on the canvas of the soul, capturing the raw and...
