YOU NEVER WALK ALONE

33-College

SARAKSHI'S POV-

I left Papaji's room with tears in my eyes. I didn't mean to listen to their conversation, but when I went to give Mr. Singh his phone, I overheard. Papaji wants him to be closer to me, but I'm not ready for that. I want him close too, but only when he truly believes in me. Until then, we can't build a strong bond.

His trust is the most important thing in our relationship. Without it, nothing will work. I trust that one day he'll believe in me, but right now, he's unsure and afraid to trust anyone. I get that, and I'm willing to wait until he's ready to see me for who I really am.

As I sat alone in our room, I heard him tell me he'd be sleeping with Papaji tonight. My mind was full of thoughts, but one thought stood out: Will he feel the same way about me once he knows my real, broken self? I've learned to understand his unspoken feelings, but will he understand me, my fears, and my past? This thought scares me the most, but I try to push it aside every day.

Maybe I'm a foolish dumb girl who still wishes that we could be happy together. Any other girl would've left after the first day, even slapped him across his face but I can't. I'm not like that. I have spent ten years living like a slave in my own home, and even then, I couldn't walk away. So how could I walk away from this place, from these people who have given me nothing but love? Love I never thought I deserved. They care for me, make me feel special, and never judge me, whether I'm right or wrong, foolish or wise. They accept me as I am, unconditionally.

And though Mr. Singh hasn't given me much, I see the changes in him. Changes only I seem to notice. He may say he doesn't care, but I know he does. In these past two months, he has adjusted his schedule so many times, knowing that I stay up waiting for him. He may not say it, but he's changing.

He's been harsh, and I don't like it, but I'm used to it. For ten years my day used to start with those harsh words. His hurtful comments don't even feel hurtful compared to those people. He's stopped scolding me unnecessarily. He just lives his life and lets me live mine. We don't talk much, but when we do, he's always the one to start the conversation. He can't seem to bear my silence—that's how it feels to me.

I've come to realize that his rude behavior is just a mask, a facade hiding his true self. And if I judge him too quickly, I'd be wrong. Leaving him now would make me no different from his ex-wife, walking away without giving him the time he needs to open up. He deserves that time, and I'm ready to give it to him. But once he realizes he's ready, once he knows he wants us to be together, I won't accept his old ways anymore.

He has felt what it's like to be in love, but he's never received the kind of love he craves. And I've never felt love—never experienced it, never received it. So I will wait patiently. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait. Because I know, in the end, it will be worth it. After all the waiting, I'll finally receive the love I've been yearning for, and I'll be able to give it to him in return.

I know I should speak up—I have so much to say, but I just can't. I don't know why I'm like this, but it's how I've always been. Ansh, Aksh, Ananya expect me to just voice my feelings on the spot, to stand up and say what's on my mind, but I can't. I can't even gather the courage to look him in the eyes.

There's a part of me that hopes one day I'll find the strength to speak up for myself, but I honestly don't know when that day will come. Maybe I've been telling myself that for too long—convincing myself that it'll happen "someday" just to feel better about staying silent. But deep down, I wonder if that day will ever come.

I don't know if I'll ever truly change, or if there will ever be some grand improvement in me. But even if I never find the courage to speak out the way people want me to, my life has still improved in ways I never imagined. Being here, with these people, has given me something I never thought I'd have—love, acceptance, and a sense of belonging. I may not have found my voice yet, but I've found a life I can't imagine being without. And maybe that's enough, for now.