Drown oneself in things to do
to not think about the emptiness inside,
the cruelty of one's whole family,
the lack of someone, anyone,
the lack of something, a dream, purpose,
to not think about a hopeless future
Trusting those closest to you to guide you right, to truly be with you, only for you to realize that they failed and betrayed you and you wasted your years living with delusions and walked a path filled with regrets because they were never on your side. Even while you trusted them wholeheartedly and defended them they strung you along in their games and lies. Fooling you for years, keeping you isolated and ignorant of the world outside.
And when you look back and see the lost time and all those memories that weren't made and the distance that grew between you and those precious few that actually cared, you can't help but despair. Can't help but wonder if it would've been better now had you not let pain and bitterness blind you to the truth.
The fog you were lost in becomes clear to you. You begin to understand that you let others steer you astray. You wasted time you can never get back. They hurt you first so you withdrew into yourself not realizing just what it was you were doing. It was self-sabotage plain as day. And now it's too late to fix what was broken. When there's no understanding or healing the only way forward is to go separate ways.
YOU ARE READING
Her Broken Sky
SpiritualA 21-year-old reflects on her past and tries to move forward in a desolate place. Holding on to the hope that there must be more in her future that will make it all worthwhile, if only to have the strength to endure her days and nights.
