Bittersweet
Looking at him now, I realised just how open he was being, how vulnerable. Letting me in on the parts of himself he kept hidden from the world. He rubbed the back of his neck as he thought back, remembering her. I could see the sorrow in his eyes, and the control it took out of him to keep himself standing.
He was telling me so much, and I knew there was a newfound bond between us, the grief that we shared connecting us in a way only the broken could understand.
It tore at him, the same way Lucy's memory tore at me. We were the same and I could see myself in him in a way I hadn't seen before. I thought we were complete opposites, but we both grieved. We were both here, alive, and left to pick up the pieces, without them.
"People were killed, eaten.. but that was the best thing that could've happened to them. For the others the outcome was worse. They were monsters, human or not." He shook his head slowly, the memory of people he knew becoming something unrecognisable. His neighbours, his friends, all of them trying to survive no matter the cost or cruelty it required.
"I'm sorry" I said softly, not knowing how else to comfort him. I placed my hand on-top of his, and his eyes met mine. The burning flames of an open furnace in his gaze. A heat made of shared pain and suffering boiling to the surface as he looked at me.
I felt the same pull that he did. The need to connect with someone and forget about everything else, to feel something other than the unbearable pain.
I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but I knew it would be of no comfort to him. He was feeling everything that I was, maybe even more.. I couldn't imagine losing a child that way, losing everyone you love all at the same time. It crushed me just thinking about it.. and I could only imagine how painful it was for him.
His head lowered as he rolled his hand over in mine, interlocking our fingers as he let out a calm sigh, and closed his eyes.
A warmth formed in my chest, a sense of calm washing over me as we breathed in sync with one another.
I never thought I'd be having this moment with him, exposing ourselves like this, laying bare for us both to see... but now that I'm in it, it feels as natural as breathing.
"You should get some sleep," he said softly "we have a big day tomorrow" I was very aware of how his thumb ran over my hand slightly, gently caressing me before he paused, registering what he was doing and subtly moving it away.
"Yeah, I guess so" I didn't want to leave him, not in this moonlight as he thought about all of the things that he had lost. He shined so brightly for a man so broken, and I found myself wishing I could mend the shattered pieces of him.
I looked down at our hands, they were still intertwined even after he told me I should leave, and I lifted my head, wondering if that was really true.
His eyes were glazed over, his mind deep in thought as he stared out into the darkness of the dense trees.
I wanted to ask what he was thinking about, but I'm sure he was flooded with memories that he wished he could forget. His eyes drifted down with a sigh. "You should go inside Samuel" he said, his eyebrows knitted together slightly as he straightened.
My mind short circuited, before I looked into his eyes. The burning blaze of an untamed fire looked back at me, and I found myself swallowing from the heat. Thirsty for water in the warmth of his gaze.
YOU ARE READING
WHERE TO NOW? (M/M) 18+
RomanceI was used to the quiet. The isolated life I had made for myself felt safe away from the greed and carnage the world left behind. The apocalypse wasn't supposed to happen, we all thought it was an earthquake - an event that wouldn't mean anything in...