WHERE TO NOW? (M/M) 18+

Chapter 31

Our Truth.

No. No. No. You can't do this again. What'd I do this time, was it because I said that Kieran was open?

Ya know what, that's probably it. He was probably pissed about us being close enough for me to know that. I needed to explain myself, needed to tell him the truth about what happened in the van and that I was still a pathetic virgin if he was up for changing that. Don't get me wrong, Kieran and I had something, there was no denying that. But we were also nothing. Nothing that would've hindered Damien's advances anyways. I needed to talk to him.

"Wait!" I shouted, stumbling out of the back door. My bare feet slammed onto the grass below.

"Dam-" I looked to my right, to see him and everyone else sitting around the fire, all eyes on me except one.

"...Can I talk to you?" I asked, nervous now that I realised everyone was watching me.

He looked up at me, his eyes laced with indifference before they dropped down my body.

The air caught in my lungs. What's with that look?

His eyes flicked back to my eyes, hovering for a moment before he looked down at the fire "there's nothing to talk about" he said, sifting through it with a stick.

A rush of anger flared through my system. "Bullshit" I snapped, and all eyes around me widened as they subtly looked at each other.

Why did he always shut me out, why won't he just tell me what the fuck is bothering him. I knew it was Kieran, it's always Kieran, but I wanted him to say it.

He sighed, "Samuel," his eyes closing for a moment in a tired frustration.

"No, don't even. If you have something to say, just man up and fucking say it. If all you're going to do is play mind games with me, you can fuck right off. I don't need that."

"Maybe we should-" Kieran tried, standing as the others began to follow.

"Sit down" I snapped, my head darting towards him.

His eyebrows lifted before a small, amused smile formed on his lips. "Feisty" he muttered, sitting back down.

My eyes drifted back to Damien. He was staring into the flames, not an ounce of anger radiating from him. Just thoughts, so many thoughts.

It was hard to stay angry when I wasn't getting a rise out of him. I wanted him to yell, to tell me everything he'd been hiding from me and declare how he really felt.

But all I got was agitating silence.

I kept my shoulders squared and my jaw set as I continued to lay into him. I had questions, and no manner of silence would stop me from asking them.

"Don't you fucking get it? Kieran isn't your problem. He's not going to steal me away unless you give me a reason to go. He doesn't care if I'm with you. You could learn a thing or two from him."

I watched as his jaw ticked, definitely not appreciating my comments but I didn't care.

"If you just intend to play with me until your satisfied, if that's all I am to you, great, get fucked and leave me the hell alone. "

"That's not my intention," he said quietly.

My anger fell away. The soft way he said it... no malice or defence, like it didn't need questioning, like it was just a simple fact to him.

"Then what is your intention? What are we because you're hot one minute and cold the next. If you're not going to admit to your feelings or commit, just stop. Stake your claim on me properly or fuck off with all the jealous bullshit."