Breathe in,breathe out. Trying to reasure myself I rub the palms of my hands over my boney upper arms grounding myself in the present moment. I hear the hall door open and see my dad and brother creeping up behind him, "Ellie,what's going on?" my dad looks over my shaken sullen figure as he questions me. I look at his desperately confused exspression and want to answer him honestly but with Eli just behind him and with threateing eyes I just shrug and shuffle my back against the wall slightly further from them both to which my dad furrows his brows in more confusion and then turns behind him to Eli.
"Could you give us a minute" Eli looks thrown by dads requested and stays put to which dad looks at him annoyed waiting for him to go back into the hall, Eli nods and then gives me an intimidating look before going back into the hall. My dad plonks himself on the floor next to me and wavers his hand at me to sit, I slide down the wall and meet him on the floor, "whats going on ellie? first the eating, exercise,and more recently all this crying..." he gives me a pitful look of concern and I start fidgeting with my hands anxiously. I double check my surroundings to make sure Eli isn't listening behind the door and that no one else can hear and then try to speak but the words feel stuck in my throat "my-, Eli-,I-i...I can't" I stutter trying to muster up the courage to tell my dad that his son,my brother, has been hurting me. As I struggle to speak and my dad's exspression contorts in confusion trying to figure out what i'm trying to say Clara comes out of the hall and rushes to my side on the floor,ignoring my dad "Ellie! I saw you scream and wanted to check on you" she gives me big side hug. "Right,let's go home to talk"Dad stands to his feat waiting for me, "I'll get Eli from the hall,the play doesn't matter right now,your my priority Ellie" my dad's reasurring smile isn't very reasurring when I know going home will mean Eli can easily hide around corners and listen in, or threaten me not to tell. In quick thinking I jump to my feet "NO! no...i'm,studying at clara's tonight remember"I try to smile and clara looks confused for a moment but then nods remembering the party and the studying lie we decided on. "But Ellie...we need to talk..."My dad looks at me slightly befuddled "It's really important that me and clara study for this...english test coming up, Yep! We will talk another time dad" I really put all my musical acting rehearsals into practice to convince my dad i'm alright and it seems to work as he hesitantly nods.
I felt way too embarassed to head back into the hall after my outburst so me and Clara walked to hers and gussied up for Jessie's party,she texted her dad that she was leaving and he sent an angry text back that he was annoyed she didn't stay till the end of the musical but Clara didn't seem fussed. She kept asking questions about why I left the hall and was so distressed but somehow I mannaged to avoid them. When her dad and sister roxie get back clara gets a little lecture before he drives us to Jessie's house. Clara's dad knows theres a party but he has always been less strict of these things especially since Clara's mum died.
"Do you think Jessie will be annoyed we left early?" I ask clara slightly worried as we walk through the open doors to the busy party, "If he IS,then i'm sure he'll loosen up about it after a few drinks" I give clara a puzzled look as she pulls out a bottle of vodka she'd been hiding in her purse,then my eyes widen "Did you steal that!?" She shrugs like it's no big deal "It's a bottle that won't be missed!". The further we step into the giant house,basically a mansion, the louder the music gets and the more people there are,wow Jessie knows alot of people, I guess that's what happens when you have the house everyone wants to party at, and when you've been to two schools. Clara takes me hand as we get through a group of people and arrive in an open space with a table loaded with snacks,booze,mixers, and plenty of plastic solo cups. Clara grabs two red solo cups and fills them with vodka and diet coke before trying to hand me one, "I'm okay thank you" I shake my head, I know there are 100 calories in just 1 shot of vodka and definetly dont want any of them. Clara shurgs nonchalently and chugs down one cup a firely look on her face as her tongue rejects the strong taste, and then grabs the other cup, "Are you ok?" I narrow my eyes in concern for her as she laughs "I just want to have a good night Ellie!" We stand by the table and I start to feel a little anxiety creep up on me as more people fill the room, the loud music changes to a song from mammia mia and i chuckle to myself as some people moan and some cheer,jessie does love his musicals. "There's NO way Jessie knows ALL these people,Someone must've posted the party on socials...ooh maybe Tom will be here!" Clara's jittery excited self pushes through the crowd looking around for the boy 'tom'. "Hey!Don't leave me" I try to shout over the music and Clara hears me but simply smiles as she wanders away, as I scope the surrondings around me I can't see anyone I know, but I notice a group of boys with tops and jumpers on that have the Harmony high logo on,they must have gone there with Jessie so perhaps they'll know where his is at this party, I take a deep breath and then decided a shot of vodka despite the calories will really help with this anxious feeling and so I pour myself a generous cup and quickly down the scorching vodka and feel it burn in my throat before waltzing over to the group of harmony high boys.
YOU ARE READING
My Brother.
ContoChapters out at least once a week. A dark story about being abused by twin brother and escaping it. Trigger warning for abuse in this story. This was difficult to go through so please don't read this or continue to read this if it could trigger you.
