After mum leaves the kitchen I look at my dad with weary eyes "She doesn't believe me,does she?", he uncomfortably looks away before sliding the paper and pen towards me,he takes a deep breath "this is why you've been crying alot isn't it? Why you flinch when I try to hug you" his eyes dart back and forth as he pieces things together "it's why when your mum hurt her ankle and I had to take her to the hospital,you wanted to come too...because you didn't want to be alone with him." I nod shyly feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. "Wait so, the fight at school, I'm guessing Jessie didn't hurt you, eli lied then and...and" my dad reaches for my hand with his, looking at the thin shiny scar on my palm from months ago when I was washing up "your hand, you weren't being clumsy were you? He..." my dad looks at me with teary eyes and regret,regret that he didn't see what was happening,but how could he have? No one would ever think such a thing could happen. I never thought Eli would go from the uncomfortable thigh touching,the thong as a birthday present,the weird jealous fits and fights with Jessie to...to violating me the way he did.
"It's not your fault dad,you couldn't have known!" I try to smile through my lifeless energy in an effort to give my dad some comfort. "No its not,there's only one person to blame" my dad snarls through gritted teeth his sad demeanour quickly turning bitter and sour "How could my son! Your twin! How!" He spits as he shouts and I feel a lump in the back of my throat as my anxiety spikes.
I shake my head visciously upset with myself,have I destroyed the family by telling the truth? Mum might not believe me and what's going to happen to us all now?
"Your supposed to feel safe at home,safe with your family and you havent been,why didnt I see this! Oh Ellie! Im so sorr-" dads emotional rambling makes me head spin with the painful traumatic memories of Eli touching me,threatening me,assaulting me.
"Dad please stop! I DONT want to think about all that's happened, everything he did" I look at the piece of paper and pen im expected to write my darkest most painful experiences on,expected to sum up a lifelong pain that wont leave me with a few measly sentences.
"I don't want to write it down,I don't want to think about it,it's all so painful...some memories I can still feel,and...and it hurts" I bawl my eyes out and see my dad start to shed some sympathetic tears aswell. I can't stand this...pity look he's giving me, so I stand up and leave taking care to look over the sofa for my phone and then head to my room with it.
When I open my phone it's a short lasting 20% and I have quite a few missed calls from Jessie,some from last night, some today, aswell as a few texts from various people.
Clara-Friday 10:12am: Are you skipping school? Why aren't you in?
Clara-Friday 10:13am: wait are you Hungover?
Clara-Friday 11:57am: I've bumped into Jessie and he seems REALLY stressed and worried about you,what's going on???
Oh god, Jessie. At the party I told Jessie. SHIT shit shit. I really hope he hasn't said anything to anyone at school,fuck! I hope he doesn't see Eli before I've had a chance to speak with him. I couldn't bear anyone else finding out,the pitying looks,the questions the judgements,what if people don't believe me, if my own mum is questioning if I'm being truthful then I couldn't bear to think what others might think.
As I plonk onto my bed,deciding to ignore my messages and calls I notice my ceramic bear on the side table opposite my vision. The same ceramic bear that I stared at the night my brother...hurt me. I can't remember any positive memories of the bear now, only that terrible moment. I rise from my bed and grab hold of the tiny thing,it feels cold and rough edged in my hands,
As I'm staring at the bear I hear a loud buzz.
BZZZZ, BZZZZ, I look down at my phone it's Eli calling.
BZZZZ, I contemplate answering and then slide the screen across
"Hello" I answer irritated already by the conservation that hasn't started and caressing the bear in my other hand whilst I talk.
"Ellie! Ellie, dont hang up! We need to talk,you need to tell mum and dad what you said was lies,okay? Tell them you were drunk and angry and that it didn't happen"
He speaks fast and sounds stress "NO! No because its all true! And you said they wouldn't believe me,well we're about to find out!" I shout down the phone and hang up instantly throwing my phone on the bed and smashing the bear at the wall.
The little pink pieces of pottery fling out as it bounces against the wall and shatters onto my bedroom floor, I let out a long sigh, and then cry.
The sound of smashing must've alerted the house because I see my worried dad's face peer from behind my door and looking frantically around "Are you okay?! What was that noise? Did you break something?" He sounds panicked,maybe he thought I'd thrown myself out the window or something, the pain,worry and shame all in my head is radiating through my body, and I feel a heavy weight pulling down on my heart.
YOU ARE READING
My Brother.
Short StoryChapters out at least once a week. A dark story about being abused by twin brother and escaping it. Trigger warning for abuse in this story. This was difficult to go through so please don't read this or continue to read this if it could trigger you.
