Today has been a slow day, Clara's stayed off school today as it's the anniversay of her mums death and we've texting throughout the day, she's really struggling but her little sister Roxie is with her but her dad still decided to go to work, she told me she thinks he's trying to distract himself from her mums death. I'm going to stop by Clara's house after school with Ryan to check in with her and gift her a box of malteasers and some penicils for her art.
Ryan looks really absent-minded as we sit in the cafeteria for lunch. "Are you okay ryan?" he nods as he adjusts his glasses "I've just got a bit on my mind is all" Ryan doesnt open up to me, were not that close but I know if Clara was here he would tell her what's on his mind. I feel a bit disjointed and offended as we sit through what feels like an enternity in silence but in reality is just a few minutes and luckily the awkwardness is interrupted as Jessie comes over "Hey Ellie! Hey Ryland,would you mind if i join you both?" Jessie sounds so uptight and snobby even when he's in the most casual places. "It's Ryan not Ryland, and sure join us jessie" Ryan gestures Jessie to sit opposite him and next to me but Jessie takes a seat next to Ryan and I notice Ryan roll his eyes and make an irritated face at me. Clara and Ryan haven't spoken to Jessie nearly as much as me but it's clear that they think he is arrogant and narcissistic, I cant blame them, he is a little but mostly I think its just his posh boy persona that makes people dislike him.
Jessie doesn't know what it's like to worry about Christmas because of the heating,or to be truly excited for a holiday because its a real luxury unlike the necessity it is for Jessie.
I try to smile comfortingly at ryan but he doesn't seem to change his expression much. Jessie looks over at Ryan's food "Aren't you eating that cafeteria crap? Oh my its so bad for you, your gut health needs at least-" Ryan's eyes are glaring daggers at Jessie's as he rambles on about health "not everyone can afford what you have Jessie" Ryan interrupts Jessie's ramble in a very demure,very mindful way. I instantaneously think Jessie is going to freak because of my past experiences with correcting or disagreeing with Eli but I'm reminded that people aren't like my brother when Jessie respectfully responds to Ryan with "oh,I'm sorry. I don't mean to make myself seem foolish." He smiles weakly at Ryan and then at me "honestly, coming from a private school to a public school,its a big change for me and I'm still learning a whole new level of etiquette" he nods "belive it or not private school boys can be abruptly rude! But I will get better with my manners,sorry ryland" I try not to laugh at Jessie as mistakenly calling Ryan Ryland again and hide the cheeky smile rising on my lips with the palm of my hand. "It's Ryan." Ryan corrects Jessie again.
30 minutes go by and all 3 of us are getting along like a house on fire, Ryan's artistic interest is something Jessie can relate to and so as we sit Ryan shows Jessie some of his art on his phone and they add each other on Instagram, I sip on my diet coke throughout the whole of lunch and once its finished I stand to find a bin to throw it away into "I'll be back in just a sec guys".
When I return to the table I notice Jessie and Ryan giggling to each other closely and quietly and as I sit they break a little distance. "Wait. Where's your lunch? Did you eat before I came over and sat with you guys?" Jessie ponders as he rubs his chin, then Ryan leans forwards "Ellie,I haven't seen you eat at all today, or the last lunch time we sat together,you've just been sipping on those diet cokes..." now they're both looking at each other confused and now me concerned. "It's nothing, I'm just not hungry,I have less of an appetite at the moment i guess" I shrug. Jessie's brain is ticking as he stares into my eyes, "it's not nothing Ellie, you didn't eat that packed lunch when you were at mine the other day either,you said you felt sick" Jessie lunges across the table towards me before quietly asking "are you starving yourself?" I feel flustered and embarrassed but before I can even utter a word to Jessie or Ryan's concerned faces, Eli appears out of nowhere. "Hey! Jessie give my sister a bit of distance yeah? She's not interested in posh pervs" Eli yells at Jessie.
Jessie leans off the table and back into his chair narrowing his eyes at Eli and looking him up and down "I'm not a perv" Jessie snarls "he wasn't doing anything wrong Eli" I add. "We were trying to help Ellie actually" Ryan gives a sarcastic smile to Eli before giving me a look that says he's annoying as hell with his eyes. "Help? Why does she need help? Who does she need help from? There's nothing wrong with my sister" Eli is quick to blurt out insulted with panic in his voice. The look he shoots me tells me for a minute that he's scared,worried I've revealed what happened those few weeks ago and he looks at though he is hiding alot of rage. "I just forgot my lun-"
"She's not eating. I'm sorry Ellie but if anyone needs to know, if anyone can help it's your family right?" Jessie gives a wryly smile and I stew in frustration and embarrassment at the table as Ryan,Jessie and my brother discuss my eating habits recently.
YOU ARE READING
My Brother.
ContoChapters out at least once a week. A dark story about being abused by twin brother and escaping it. Trigger warning for abuse in this story. This was difficult to go through so please don't read this or continue to read this if it could trigger you.
