Flailing

Part 7: Suspicion

The secret meeting carries on and something no one really questioned, well some did but neither women knew that.

Roger was suspicious and the reason for the suspicion was messed up, he was confused why Siobhan was happy. Can you imagine your partner being worried because you are happy? He could feel it in his core that something was wrong but he couldn't work it out. She just went to work. There was a storm brewing, the control he thought he had was slipping and he did not know how to reclaim it.

"Are you cheating on me?" It was the first word out of Roger's mouth as Siobhan entered the living room. She was stunned.

"No" She was genuine and Roger actually believed her straight off the bat.

"Something is going on and I know it Siobhan"

"I promise that it is not" Her voice was steady, she knew that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

"I don't want you in the nursery anymore. I want you to focus on the home. You might as well start practicing if you are going to be my wife" Time stopped and she realized that this is it, she has nothing left.

"I don't thi-"

"No I think this is for the best" There was no discussion and Siobhan felt defeated, the following days were spent tying up loose ends and Siobhan just kept looking for that blue shirt in every sea of people she passed. Vivian wasn't there nor would she be. It was the last day that Siobhan was scheduled to work. Everybody was making jokes about how she finally got what she wanted, to be some kind of trophy that never had to lift a finger. She wanted to scream, to tell them that everything was wrong and that they didn't know anything.

She ran into Sorscha. They exchanged insults as they were known to do, not that they really had much contact but Siobhan liked her, or she liked her more than most of the staff. As she was about to leave she caught a glimpse of the woman's wedding ring. She knew that she was married to another woman and that they just had a baby. She wondered what that would be like, to have a child with another woman. The thought of what Vivian had said about her values echoed through her mind and before she knew it she just said it. She congratulated her on her new baby and told her that she probably made a good mother and that she thought the same of Sorscha's wife.

"I thought you hated people who waved that flag, with all those colors" Sorscha gestured to a painting on the wall with letters in the color of the rainbow.

"I know people think so, but in reality I don't. I don't hate them at all" This felt big and important. To anyone else this was a casual conversation but to Siobhan, this was huge and she left the conversation feeling proud. She wondered if Vivian would be proud of her too. She didn't know it but anyone that knew Vivian would say that she was proud of her friend for finally taking a stance and deciding that this was what she thought, no one else.

There was no sign of Vivian and the day was coming to an end. Siobhan wondered if she might simply never see Vivian again, what would that be like, to lose a friend. When you don't have friends you don't think about losing them so this was new. She grabbed a piece of paper and started to think of all the things she wanted to say. It was too much to put on paper and she was afraid of someone else getting a hold of the note so it had to be cryptic. When she finished she tried to work out who could get this to Vivian. She saw Vivian around the most in Marjorie's office and decided that Marjorie would act as her mule. She walked with quick steps and she didn't bother to knock, she just entered the office and as luck would have it, Marjorie was there.

"Well hello to you too. Heard of knocking, Siobhan?"

"I need a favor" She felt embarrassed but at the same time she did not regret her decision.

"What?" Marjorie sounded surprised.

"I can't explain but I need you to get this to Vivian. It's private and I would appreciate your discretion"

"And why would I do that for you?" Siobhan thought of reason, there was none good enough. She looked at her feet and she felt stupid for even coming here.

"Because I think that you might be a good person" It was honest and surprising to both women.

Roger was not the only person that had realized that something was different with Siobhan, Marjorie had as well. She talked to Vivian and she knew that they were friends, so now in her office she knew that what Siobhan asked was in fact important and she started to fear that her distancing herself from the nursery might not be such great news for Siobhan as most people had assumed.

"Ok, I'll get it to her" They looked at each other then Siobhan passed her the note. She hoped Marjorie wouldn't open it but even if she did there was nothing bad in it. She left the office and as she was about to close the door she wondered if she would see Marjorie again. She was with Reece so probably but she still wondered.

"Bye Marjorie... and thank you" She left as soon as the word left her lips.