Flailing

Part 8: Wait

There would be three weeks before Siobhan heard from Vivian, not because Marjorie didn't give her the note, because she did. The content of the note would stay between the eyes it was intended for. Marjorie loved gossip and she did love meddling but she had a feeling that Siobhan needed someone to trust, someone to believe in. Even though she didn't have much love in her heart for the blond she did have a soft spot for broken people and she loved a redemption arc. The reason for the three week gap between the receival of the note and the meeting was simple, it was what was written on the note.

An address, a date, a time and at the end an S and a small heart.

Vivian wanted to go straight away but she knew that all though chivalrous, it would put Siobhan in a worse position than she already was in. She was once again reminded of just how little she knew about what the woman was going through and what her life was like. It made her sad and the truth might be better as her imagination played the most vivid and violent scenarios in her mind. Her nights were plagued by the thought of Siobhan and Roger, she had not met the man but in her head he was huge and terrifying. Roger was not a huge man but he was terrifying, most people would tell you that. There is something extremely unnerving about a man that you realize can snap at you at any moment, like he was a loaded powder cage. He is the kind of man who will ruin your life, he will make sure you lose your job, your family and your home. He was not the kind of man you want as an enemy.

Siobhan spent these three weeks just trying to get by as best she could. She played the homemaker and she made more effort than she ever had but he wasn't happy with her, he could never be satisfied. Maybe Roger never would be, maybe that was the point. The days got longer and longer and Siobhan started to look for ways out, for something to keep her going, for something to numb her. Thank god they had a wine cellar.

She started drinking. At first it was just to get by in the evenings but as the days got longer she felt this pulsing loneliness in her chest like every beat reminded her that this was her life, like Roger himself was pumping through her blood. That thought was disgusting and the wine started to make an entrance earlier and earlier in the day. Sometimes she thought about the nursery and the people she had left behind. Not that she liked them or anything but she missed them, she missed them a lot. Then there was Vivian. The one person that knew her or at least wanted to know her and the person Siobhan genuinely wanted to know the real her. Some days she couldn't get Vivian out of her mind, she kept going over every interaction in detail. She sat on the floor in the small library that was the furthest one could get from the front door and she went over every conversation they had had up until the day she left. It was as if she was looking for something, something she missed, something that was new and would get her just a little bit of Vivian back.

The weeks passed and Siobhan sank into the dread of her life. She knew the date she had put on the note but she didn't know if Marjorie actually passed it on and she didn't even know if Vivian would come, what if she didn't. The fear of abandonment would make her spiral and in her drunken stupor she almost called Vivian, she almost called her all the time. Roger was somewhat disturbed by this new alcohol fuelled Siobhan. Well, he had a vision of a 50's housewife and what is more fitting then some substance abuse. He also liked some aspects of this. He liked how pliable she was, how easy she was to handle.



A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I think that I am back in business but I have a lot going on. Hope you guys have a nice weekend.

/N