Flailing

Part 2: The Ball

Sometimes people come into your life for a reason. Often it is a good friend, a lover, or someone who gives you perspective on the life you are living. Sometimes these people stay for a long time and sometimes they are temporary. In the case of Siobhan, this person was a mean and overly flirty redhead named Mia.

They met at a Ball, a Halloween Ball. Mia had been an appendix to the Knight family for years. She was in a relationship with Roger's son Reece. The relationship was rocky to say the least and everybody seemed to know this, even Siobhan. They had not met. Siobhan knew Reece but Mia had not been around enough to be introduced. There were rumours about the couple, about their lifestyle. People said that they travelled to private islands for swingers, others said that they had a lavender relationship and they were acting as each other's beards. Siobhan did not pay these rumours any mind, because honestly, she didn't care. What people do in their own time as consenting adults was not her business. When you are the subject of gossip you learn that people will make up things, spice up what the truth actually was.

Roger was not a bad partner but he wasn't great either. He was controlling, selfish and sometimes rude but he was also generous and he knew how to make people do what he wanted. The thing that got Siobhan was the flattery, he really saw her. He found out that she loved reading and started to give her books, expensive first edition books. It was a way to say I want to know you and also I have money to spend. Since Siobhan didn't have a lot of practice with 'grown-up' relationships seeing how she stopped dating at 24, so she took a lot of what happened at face value.

She was pretty happy, her living standard had skyrocketed and she didn't really have to work. The opportunity had recently arisen, Roger wanted to take care of her and she told him that she would think it over. A part of her wanted to jump at the offer of being a stay at home girlfriend but something in the back of her mind told her to hold her horses. Maybe it was the way he would hold her arm a little too tight when he thought that she wasn't engaging enough in conversation or how angry he could get. The screaming had not started right away but after the second social event they had attended together he screamed at her for the first time. They had been in a black car with one of his private chauffeurs and he had called her stupid and worthless. When she didn't react he raised his voice and that was the first time he ever yelled at her. Her eyes were glued to the road ahead as they started to water up, she could see the poor driver flinch every now and then. Poor guy, he looked young and Siobhan wondered if this was his first job. She apologized and he forgave her. Sometimes after fights he would leave her alone in the house, she couldn't leave because where would she go? This was a way of telling her that this is it, there is no one else, I am your home, I am your everything.

In a relationship like this you learn quickly how to stay out of your partner's way. Siobhan was smart, even though Roger told her differently many times. But she was at least smart enough to not repeat the same mistakes twice. So they got along well and at one point Roger even pointed out how good she had become and how pleased he was with his 'little pet'. She should be happy or at least relieved but all she could feel was how her stomach was turning.

Siobhan learned to be present with Roger's friends, she learned when to talk and when to be quiet. She learned how to cook his favourite meals and what kind of whiskey he preferred. She let him show her off, and he told her how to dress, she should show her body but not look like a whore. The duality of that was too much for Siobhan to handle or that is what Roger told her, so he would pick her clothes and tell her what was ok and not.

He took her on trips and paid for everything. He gave her a credit card without a limit and when he wasn't home she could do what she wanted, as long as she told him when, where, with who and shared her location at all times. She should also always be able to be reached. Besides this, it was good. Siobhan never expected a storybook love so this was ok, she kept saying that, this was ok. This was ok, right?