40 | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

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ISHAN'S POV :

After she slammed the door in my face, I stood there, frozen. My legs felt too shaky, too weak to carry my weight anywhere, so I just stood there.
I wanted to be with her. To inhale her scent until my nerves settled. To hear her voice until my ears stopped ringing, until my eyes could remember every inch of her. But I knew that wasn't possible. So, I dragged myself to the terrace of the mansion.

The clouds growled with a sharp thunder as I stepped onto the terrace floor. I shut the door behind me and walked to the farthest corner.
Recalling how I once promised my eighteen-year-old self that she would be mine, I stood in the same place, knowing she never truly could be.

"Why?" The scream tore out of me, raw and broken, full of heartache, pain, and something deeper, agony. It ripped through my throat, through my entire being, while my eyes stayed fixed on the sky.

In that moment, I truly felt it, not a part of me, but I, Ishan Oberoi, died as a whole.

"Why? Why? Why?" I cried again, helplessly. My voice cracked; my eyes burned from tears. My hands clutched at my hair in frustration before my knees gave out, sinking to the cold floor.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, soaking into my collar. I didn't bother wiping them away.
It wasn't just her I lost today, I saw the most fragile, broken part of myself too. Never in my life had I been this vulnerable. Never.

"Da-di, aaj aap kyon nahi ho?"

(Grandma, why aren't you here today?)

I needed her. I needed her the most, but the truth was, she'd left me long ago too.

"Dadu bhi nahi aate... woh bhi nahi sunte... Dadi, mai marr jaunga uske bina... lekin jeena padega."

(Grandpa doesn't come either... he doesn't listen... Grandma, I'll die without her... but I'll still have to live.)

"Mai kaise jiyunga, Dadi?"

(How will I live, Grandma?)

My head hit the floor as I cried, begging for answers that never came.

After a few minutes, I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned against the railing. I had never felt so weak, so helpless. Maybe if she hadn't come this close... if we hadn't spent so much time together... if we weren't bound in this knot of marriage... maybe it wouldn't have hurt this much.

I don't know. I said too much. I hurt her. I saw her cry, and I knew she would—but it still shattered me. Her tears tore my soul apart, and my own cruelty made it impossible not to hate myself.
I just hated myself.

I rubbed a trembling hand over my face.

"Argh!" I bit into my palm, hard, to muffle the gut-wrenching scream clawing its way out of me.

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