ineffable memories / / bucky barnes

[twenty - one]

TIME STAMP: PAST, 1825 & 1945

I can't help but repeat myself

I know it's not your fault

Still lately, I begin to shake

For no reason at all

It had been over 5 years since Katherine's mother died and still, she felt no peace. She went to healers of other villages to ask for help, to ask if they could find a way to tame the pain in her heart and everything, she got the same answer: no one could do it but time.

"Time will heal everything" was the sentence she heard more during those years and although some elderly women kept telling her it was normal, she felt like she was losing her mind.

For a long while, Katherine feared for herself. Women at that time were treated horribly, and she had no father or husband, which meant to society that she was easy prey. However, she also knew how to use her powers just enough to keep her out of trouble.

While she walked through the forest, Katherine felt a breeze on her spine as her heart started to speed up. It felt like a déjà vu but in a different way – Katherine was suddenly sure that years later, she would feel the same emptiness she did now, but it wasn't for her mother – it was for someone else.

Standing in front of the bar where she first met James in 1943, when he rescued her from a man, she remembered that day and laughed ironically. After all, she had always been right.

Either because she was a witch or just unlucky, parallels kept forming in her life. She had someone who loved her, and they died—it seemed like an endless cycle.

"Where will you go now?" Steve asked joining her side. Kai almost jumped because she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice he was there. "Listen, I..."

"He was your best friend, Steve. Any pain that I feel could not be measured against yours." Kai said softly, turning to her friend. "Right now, I just can't be here, but please, don't think for a second, that I blame you." Her voice started to cry as tears appeared in her eyes.

"I should have tried harder," Steve whispered. "He was so close to me, and I couldn't hold him."

Kai couldn't trust herself not to cry if she said something, so she put her arms against Steve. "I'll come and find you, someday."

"You shouldn't be alone." Steve sighed, shedding his tears. He couldn't break because he was supposed to be the strongest soldier, but he was also just a young man who lost his best friend.

"I've been alone throughout most of my life, Steve. It's not something I can't handle." Smiling between her tears, Kai caressed his face. "You two were meant to do great things. I only ask you to try and keep that up."

"I don't know how to go on without him." He admitted, looking at the floor. "Before all of this, Bucky was all I had."

"You're a good man, Steve Rogers. I know you'll honor him."

TIME STAMP: PAST, 1991

Kai was captured by Hydra in 1980 when someone discovered her powers after she spent all those years trying to bring James back to life. What she didn't know yet was that the spells kept failing because he wasn't dead, he was... something, or well, someone else.

She was being sent to another facility when an agent stopped the transfer, claiming she would be needed to deal with the new "recruit".

"Do I look like a babysitter?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow. She had her magic restrained but her mouth was still running.

"I'm sure you'll like this one." Missy, the Hydra agent, smiled. "You know there's no point in trying to blow things up so keep it cool, witch." When Kai didn't answer, she continued. "He's not new in Hydra but he's been mostly doing missions in other facilities."

Before Kai could answer, the door opened which caught her attention. A loud thud on the ground was heard and suddenly, Kai couldn't distinguish if it was her heart sinking to the ground or something else.

"James?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her former James, completely changed now, into what she discovered would be The Winter Soldier, replied.