TIME STAMP: PRESENT
But nothing ever gets me high like this
I pick my poison and it's you
Nothing could kill me like you do
You're going straight to my head
And I'm heading straight for the edge
I pick my poison and it's you
I pick my poison and it's you
After spending the whole drive without saying a word since Walker returned, Bucky frowned at his phone when they reached the club. "Walker." He called.
"What's up?"
"Sharon wants to meet you instead. She just texted me." Bucky frowned a bit.
"Oh?"
"Well, you shouldn't leave her waiting. Go on." Kai said, slightly pushing Walker on his way.
"Why would she want to talk with Walker?" Bucky asked more to himself than anything else.
"I texted Sharon." Kai said after a long silence. "I... I needed to talk with you." Mumbling and refusing to look at Bucky, Kai felt her heartache.
"What for, Katherine? So, you can tell me that being in love with me is torturous because I can't remember us?" He asked, feeling the weight of her previous words.
"No, James." Her voice shifted slightly before she met his eyes. "So, I can tell you that being in love with you is one of the two things that has kept me alive for all those years."
"What's the second thing?" He mumbled curiously.
"What?" Kai asked confused, in disbelief that he wanted to know that instead of answering her.
"What's the second thing that has been keeping you alive?" Bucky's voice was calm now, as he slowly got closer to her – not too close but enough to brush his hand against her arm.
At first, Kai looked at him with her lips parted and a confused expression but then she saw that he was trying to fight his smile, so she slightly laughed. "You're an idiot, James Barnes."
"And you haven't answered me." He scrunched his nose, brushing the hair out of her face.
"I'm sorry, James."
"For not telling me the second thing or-"
"Stop being a menace." She complained, resting her hand on his chest. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. It's not your fault and I know that." With a sigh, she continued. "To answer your question... What keeps me alive besides loving you, is the possibility of becoming someone good."
"Honey..." Bucky mumbled, moving his fingers through her arm. "You have flaws like the rest of us but you're a good person. Look what you've done for me."
"I'm not sure that's qualified as an act of goodwill or if it's just being selfish."
"Who says being selfish sometimes can't be something good?" He whispered, locking his eyes with hers, quickly realizing Kai was tearing up.
"We should go check the club. Make sure we follow the orders so that Valentina lets us go."
Bucky could have pushed forward the subject, but he also needed time to let everything sink in, so he nodded his head. Before letting go of her arm, he squished it gently, showing her a sad smile.
He desperately needed to remember them, and he was willing to do whatever was necessary to get his memories back because he could see in her eyes how much love she had for him but at the same time, he could feel on his heart that they were meant to be.
Although he felt it, he couldn't put into words how much he knew he loved her, so instead of saying something along those lines, he simply yet with so full of meaning, said:
"We'll get out of this together – thunderbolts, Valentina, shield, hydra, everything. We'll do it."
YOU ARE READING
ineffable memories / / bucky barnes
Fanfictionkai has been around for many centuries, while james has only been around for one, yet their paths have constantly cross. when kai is recruited by valentina, she isn't aware that the whole universe will be at risk because of her secrets.
