ineffable memories / / bucky barnes

[chapter nine]

TIME STAMP: PAST, 1943

We don't talk enough

We should open up

Before it's all too much

Will we ever learn?

We've been here before

It's just what we know

Bucky was preparing what to say when he saw Kai, but he knew there was no way he would decide something. Every time, he had a speech ready, but every time, it never came out. Steve teases him about it, saying it's because he likes her so much that he can't even think.

In an hour, he, Steve, and the rest of the soldiers were going to depart for the war, and they had no idea if they'd ever be back. No matter how smug and cocky he pretended to be, Bucky was terrified of what happened if he didn't come back. He would never see his little sister Becca again and he would never be able to tell Kai what she meant to him.

There was a small knock on the door, and Bucky nodded his head without saying anything – he knew it was Steve.

"You ready to leave for the train station?" Steve asked, tilting his head a bit.

Bucky finally looked up at him and nodded, still amazed at how Dr. Erskine's serum made Steve look. Despite Steve's previous physical inability to become a soldier, Bucky knew that his best friend was the right choice for taking that responsibility. To him, Steve was probably the best person he'd ever known. He'd do anything for him and would never willingly leave.

"Yeah. All set to go." Bucky grabbed his backpack. "Is Peggy gonna meet us there?"

"She is. She wants to say goodbye to us and wish us good luck. She'll be close by during our time out, but you know, she can't be there so." Steve nodded his head, smiling a bit at his best friend. "Kai?"

"We saw each other yesterday. None of us likes goodbyes so we pretended it was just a see you tomorrow type of thing."

There was a tone in his voice that made Steve pat his shoulder. "You should have told her, pal."

"Wouldn't do any good. If I die or disappear mid-combat, she'll suffer with it, especially if she knows what she means to me." Bucky shrugged a bit. "Come on, we can't lose the train."

Steve got quiet because there wasn't anything that he could say that would change Bucky's mind. He just hoped he could do it. After all the goodbyes, Bucky and Steve were ready to leave with the others when the most amazing thing happened.

"Officer Barnes!" Kai screamed, running between people to get to him.

"Kai." Bucky whispered before jumping off the train – they still had 5 minutes. When they got closer to each other, he spoke again. "You're here."

"Oh, where would I be?" 

 She pushed the hair out her face as she smiled gently and shyly at the same time, looking at Bucky. People around them were invested in what was happening considering that usually when women would do a scene like that, it was because they were afraid of losing their lovers.

Bucky's face was still for a moment but eventually, his lips parted into a grin before he ran to her and picked her up, swirling her around. Steve smiled watching the scene and he thought it was the first time he heard both Kai and Bucky laugh with so much pleasure.

When he put her down, the train was making its noise to warn the soldiers it was almost time to leave, so Kai gently stroked his face.

"You'll be the death of me, Bucky Barnes." She laughed, and when he pressed their foreheads together, her eyes instantly closed. "Don't you dare get hurt."

"I'll find a way to way to come back to you." He whispered, feeling his eyes get watery. Kai kept her eyes closed because she didn't want to cry but it was inevitable. "Can I tell you a secret?" Bucky said quietly and when she looked into his blue watery eyes, he smiled. "James."

Kai's heart melted with the sight of Bucky and after pressing a soft kiss against his cheek, she whispered back. "Katherine."

"I'll find you one way or another, I promise. Don't you forget me, Katherine Lafleur."

"Never."

Bucky would lose the train if it wasn't for Steve who was calling out his name and helped him up. Once he was in, Steve smirked in his direction and Bucky laughed knowing exactly what he meant. He loved her.

"Come on, darling. I'll make you some company while you write." Peggy said joining Kai's side which made her smile and clean her tears.