ineffable memories / / bucky barnes

[chapter six]

TIME STAMP: PRESENT

She needed to get away from him, but also get him back. Kai was so overwhelmed that to anyone looking from the outside perspective, she was just a girl swirling on the streets, completely lost in her mind instead of the most powerful human alive.

"Kai!" Bucky shouted after her, trying to not get run over. "Oh, my god." He grumbled, waving at the drivers as he made his way to Kai, who was just standing in the middle of the road, looking everywhere. "Miss Kai!" He repeated, noticing how her trance seemed to break.

Kai's watery eyes faced Bucky as his expression remained confused. Once they were out of the road, he dropped her arm abruptly, wanting some answers.

"Are you trying to get killed, Miss?"

"I just need you to leave me alone. Please." Kai's voice and insides felt like they were suffocating. "I need –"

"What does Valentina even want with you?" Bucky asked exasperated. "We're all guarding you like you're about to blow up the Earth if you're alone."

"What does she have on you, Bucky?" Kai's voice became calmer, slightly bending her head. "You were fine, you had Sam, and everything was working out for you."

"How do you know about Sam?"

Then it hit her. She had said too much – revealed too much. There was only one way to fix it now, and it wasn't by telling him everything – not yet.

Kai closed her eyes for mere seconds before raising her hand slightly. Bucky, who was a master at getting tortured and aware of techniques to when someone was going to do something, stood back, shaking his head frenetically. He didn't know the dimensions of her powers, and he didn't want to find out the hard way.

"You don't wanna do this."

"Don't make me do this." Kai begged, the memories flooding in.

"Look – whatever is happening, I can try and help. You don't have to hurt anyone."

"I know you'll be able to forgive me," Kai whispered before making a gentle move that would put Bucky asleep in her arms. "I'll get you back, I promise."

She was a witch, but her strength was more reliable on her mind than on her body, so it didn't take long before she had to put Bucky down on the ground, unable to keep up with his weight. It wasn't as nearly as bad as anything Bucky had gone through, but Kai still felt like she acted without consent, and it was messing up her head, especially because it was her James.

TIME STAMP: WINTER SOLDIER YEARS

Kai and the Winter Soldier had met during one of his first training, considering how she was also being held by Hydra to be a weapon to their cause. Ironically, later, she would be held by someone else because she wanted to save him from his mind and torments.

The first time they officially met, Kai nearly exploded the whole building trying to get to his human side, but she was quickly restrained and programmed to forget him. Once again, ironically, they didn't know she couldn't forget him – no matter how hard she had tried.

Before it was easy to play along and pretend, that she didn't know who he was, but with time, they started to understand that something wasn't clicking and that she was just pretending to follow what Hydra wanted.

One day on a mission she was assigned with him, she found it weird that there weren't many details on it, but Kai was spending time by his side, making him more human, so it felt like a win.

Until he stopped in a forest and got out of the car without saying anything.

"There's nothing here." Kai said after she followed him. It was only when he turned around that she understood – it was becoming true, her curse.

Her heart shattered when he pointed the gun at her, his hand slightly trembling, something that never happened before. "You don't wanna do this."

"Don't make me do this." His voice was softer than usual. "I don't know why, I just..."

"Look – whatever is happening, I can try and help. You don't have to hurt-."

"You're my mission, Kai."

Before she could go on and try to reach the peak of his humanity, reminding him who he was, a shot was fired. There it was. 200 years ago, her mother was right, she was destined to die at the hands of the person she loved the most.