A Sealed Warrioress' Diary

Jumbled

Dear Jesus,

I wrote my very first exam today—Physical Anatomy. It was a theory paper, and it was quite tasking to remember the order and spellings of the human body parts I had memorized—Head and neck. But thankfully, the Holy Spirit was present to help juggle my memory at the points I was blank. I'm so glad He was no longer grieved, and that You were there with me in the exam hall.

Yeah, my exam was partly the reason why it has taken me this long to write another entry.
But still, I know that is a silly side-excuse. You and I know the real reason.

The past week was a mixture of highs and lows. I was sort of running away from You.
Yes, it sounds so irrational now that I am writing it down, but I allowed it. I stumbled, and I didn't have the strength to, or more accurately, I didn't want tostand up. I guess a part of me was exhausted.

I think I should have been more careful just as Dad had warned, especially with all the went down with the mini revival in the fellowship. Yet once again, I let down my guard and the enemy had a field's day.

You and I are more than good now. But I need to record this down so I won't ever forget how frail I am, and how merciful You forever are.

You see, after that amazing time when I led the opening prayer in the fellowship, the wave of Your glory lingered for days over the assembly. It was so real that the building was kept open throughout the weekend so that people could come in at any time to have personal communion with You.
And, Lord, how they came, like flowing waves! The auditorium was always half full with people praying, crying and simply being with You, at least all the times when I also went there to enjoy amazing stretches of fellowship time with You.
It was beautiful and intimate, and I couldn't still comprehend how I was the trigger of the wave of what You were doing in many lives.

It must have pissed off You-know-who. That sly, serpentine accuser needed to find the smallest speck of wrong in me. How was I so unsuspecting at such a period during which I was enjoying Your presence so much?

After that intense weekend, on Monday, I noticed that Abdul was deliberately avoiding me. He wouldn't even spare me a glance when he had to share a questionnaire sheet to the entire class. I had assumed You were already reaching out to him and he would be eager to want to know more, but his reaction was cold and distant.

Out of concern, after he left, I asked Shelly if she knew what was up with him. She only said he did seem a bit off, but she was certain he wasn't ill or anything like that. When she pressed to know why I asked, I told her all that happened leading to that moment. She was impressed I had the courage to tell him about You and invite him to fellowship.
She told me he liked to hang out alone in the Central Cafe in the evenings and told me I could go there if I wanted to talk to him.

I hesitated at first, not sure if confronting him was such a good idea. But, I knew within me that he was a searching soul in the valley of decision, and I couldn't ignore him so easily, not when I'd been the one to set the ball rolling.

Once I'd finished up my final rounds of studying for the day, around 4:30 pm, I headed for the Central Cafe. Sure enough, when I arrived, Abdul was seated by a window seat, gazing outside. He didn't noticed my entry which explains why he was so startled when I pulled out the seat in front of him and said hi as I sat. He didn't respond. He only scowled, still not looking at me.

I looked at him and said, "Would you mind explaining why you're avoiding me?"

"I'm not your friend. Why are you pestering me?" he murmured.

"I didn't mean to pester you. I'm just concerned. Is there anything wrong?"

He shuffled through the open book on the table before him and said, "As you can see, I'm reading. You're distracting me."