A Sealed Warrioress' Diary

Make Hay

Dear Jesus,

As I closed my eyes, everything went dark. But soon, after a moment of stilling my soul and meditating on You, the darkness took on a character of its own and began to shimmer as if I was looking at a distant mirage in a desert. I had a sensation of being sucked out of the confinement of my body.

The entire vista lit up when I opened my eyes. I was in a different but familiar realm.
This was no other than the Secret Place of Thunder. I knew by the signature flashes of lightning in the purplish clouds overhead. Warmth spread through me as memories of all the wonderful past encounters with You in this place came rushing back. I knew I was about to meet You.

As though on cue, I saw You from a distance, seated on the sandy riverbank and looking at the crystal-clear waters.

"Jesus?" I called tentatively as I drew nearer.

You turned with Your usual smile, and I couldn't resist the pull to run to You. I noted the sadness in Your eyes, though, and I wondered about it.
You always seem to be able to delicately balance joy and sadness together in You. I wonder how You do it.

I clung to You, overwhelmed by the measure of love I could feel pouring over every atom of my being. When I looked at Your face again, my eyes were watery.

"Thank you," I rasped.

"What for?" you asked, smiling.

"For Your mercy. And for that gift. To partake in the public declaration of my love for You. I feel like I've not gone through merely a death and resurrection symbolism, but through a public betrothal ceremony."

You wiped away a stray tear from my eyes. "Radiance, you are my anointed seeress, my sealed warrioress. Anything for you. Any time."

Your words just caused me to ugly-cry some more before I was finally able to calm down.
I leaned on Your shoulder and allowed You to stroke my back. It was more than enough, being in Your presence.

"Is something wrong, Lord? You've been very quiet," I asked after a moment's silence.

"Do you have something you want me to say?"

"No. Well, maybe Yes."

You chuckled and motioned for me to go on. Mentally, I could almost see myself pull out a list of queries I'd been dying to ask You.

"First off, the dead guy. Second, the bunch of visions I've been seeing about John. Also, about my ward, Mr Ezekiel. Then, last but not least, any updates on the inflicter..."

"That's all?"

I squirmed at how intently you were staring at me.
"Um, yeah, for now I guess."

You let out a sigh and said, "Radiance, there are weightier matters of the Kingdom I want you to handle and all you can use our precious time together to do is ask me about these?"

I felt chastened. I bowed my head and was about to apologize but You spoke before I could.

"I want you to tell me all about you and ask any questions you have anytime, because I care about you. But, Radiance, if you don't realise it yet, know that I don't consider you a babe anymore."

"Jesus, that's actually one of the things I'm scared of," I said in a choked voice. "Can't I just remain your baby? I'm scared I'll flop big time if you entrust all these things on me."

"I've not given you the spirit of fear," You said, looking into my eyes.
I looked away, my heart aching.

"You're not a disappointment to me, Radiance. Never think that."