Violence (Sequel to Have Faith In Me)

12: Guilt trippin'

When I finished crying at therapy, I thanked her gratefully.

I set my empty cup of tea down. "That's what I'm here for, honey." She reassured me.

I smiled at her weakly and forcefully.

I got out my phone and turned it on, just like Kerry had just advised me to. The phone lit up and searched for signal.

I placed it on the coffee table in front of me and watched it vibrate so violently that it eventually fell off of the table, from all of the messages that I had received.

"I think you should talk to one of them, at least tell them that you're okay and, well, stable." She told me gently.

I sighed. "I don't want to though, and I know I'm being really stupid and stubborn b-"

"I understand, and look, if you want, I can talk to them instead." She offered.

I nodded eagerly and she reached behind her for the cable phone on her desk that reached to the sofa area of the room.

She dialled a number, which I can only assume for it to be Luke's. I think she only had Luke's number, maybe Ashton's too.

It would be pretty late for them right now, but he still picked up very quickly.

"Hello?" I could hear him on the other end of the phone because it was dead silent in the building right now.

"Luke? It's Kerry. I've got Kayla here with me now."

"What are you waiting for? Let me speak with her!"

"She doesn't want to speak to you right now."

"She doesn't have to speak, she just has to hear me out. Now hand over the phone, I'm paying you, you aren't her fairy god mother." He snapped. He sounded really angry, so I shuffled to the end of my sofa, even though he was on the other side of the planet.

"Mr Hemmings," she began in her business tone, "I know very well that you're paying me, however you haven't paid for this session as it is before opening hours. Kayla wants you to know that she is okay and stable." As soon as she said the word 'stable' Luke cursed under his breath.

"I'm so fucking stupid." I heard him growl. "You're sure she's okay? She hasn't done anything stupid or harmful?"

"Mr Hemmings, she felt comfortable enough to come to me straight away and seek help. She's handling this very well." She reassured him, monotonously.

I wanted to speak to him so badly, I wanted him to tell me that it was okay, and I was important to him. I wanted to know that he loved me. But I didn't want him to lie to me again. I didn't want to screw up his plans with his girlfriend.

"I need to fix this, please tell her to speak to me as soon as possible."

I sighed and took the phone straight from Kerry.

"Make it quick." I whispered.

"Kayla, please. I love you so much kiddo, don't ever doubt that! I'm going through a lot right now and I was speaking out of my arse." I snort pointedly, yeah he was. "But I need you, too. I need us to be our happy little family that we once were."

I cut him off.

"Luke? You wanna know why I don't want to talk right now? Because you can't fix this, you didn't know I was listening, so you didn't funnel your thoughts. And that's all I needed to realise how much I am an inconvenience to you. So I don't care anymore. And don't pretend that we can be a fucking 'happy family'," cringe, "now, because we all know that our 'happy family'," I cringed at the term, "was ruined many years ago, or had you forgotten about that?"