Violence (Sequel to Have Faith In Me)

39: splish splash splosh

I had everything step up ready for my studying.

I was propped up in my bed with the TV on blaring Pretty Little Liars.

My laptop was on my lap burning my thighs from it overheating, and I had notes scattered all over my bed.

I didn't know where to start so I had written out a list of things I need to do and get done, and I was working my way through this list methodically. Or so I thought I was.

The programme was constantly distracting me and I would keep getting side tracked and loosing my place.

I couldn't complain though, I had the place to myself. Well, and Zoe. But I retreated to my room to do work whilst she was reading on the balcony.

I was just so much more interested in who A was, than whatever psychological theory I was meant to be learning about.

Figures.

After 10 hours of solid procrastination, I  heard my stomach start to rumble.

I groaned as I rolled off the bed and felt my legs go to jelly as I stood up for the first time all day. I didn't know when the boys would be back, but I wasn't about to wait.

As soon as I got to the kitchen and started making a coffee, they all came back. I heard the footsteps down the hall first. The arguing about 'who had the keycard' came not too long after.

Zoe joined me in the kitchen, also wanting a cuppa whilst the kettle was on. We made small talk as the boys stumbled into the room and flopped on the sofa.

I said my quick 'hello's' to the boys and grabbed a muffin, heading back to my modified studying.

Luke followed me and joined me on the bed.

"I love this show! Have you only just started watching?" He  enquired.

I nodded. "Yeah, so no spoilers." I tutted, flicking through some notes.

He picked up an unopened text book and started reading a random page in the middle. He read a few paragraphs intensely and then sighed, putting the book down.

"Kiddo, this seems hopeless. I can't even understand! You sure this is English?"

I shrugged. I  wasn't entirely sure.

"No rest for the wicked aye?" Luke said, drawing his attention back onto the television.

I opened a document on my laptop and decided to work on one of my many incomplete essasys. I had only written a couple of paragraphs and the headings for the rest of it. The only thing I was academically good at these days was getting organised by putting the headings. The rest of it just didn't flow anymore.

Education just wasn't interesting to me. And I didn't know what to do with it.

I thought it would be easier out here, being with the boys and not being surrounded by school. But I was wrong, because I can't even ask for help. I could e-mail, but I would have to wait ages for a reply. 

I  had a look online for some articles to reference, and only signed in frustration when I got halfway through analyzing them, to see that they weren't peer-reviewed.

"It's no good, any of this." I gestured to the many tabs I had open. "I don't even know what I want to do anymore with school, it seems pointless." I rubbed my temples in frustration.

"Hey, don't be silly. You'll get there. What do you like doing?"

"Luke, I've spoke to Ash about that more times than I can count and we never get anywhere. He always points out so many options and I don't ever wanna pursue any of them."