Where You Are

Epilogue 3: London

February 2024

Jesse

'Make sure you keep those flowers upright, mate,' I bent down to help Joey straighten the large bouquet of red and pink roses he was carrying. They were almost as big as he was, I had no idea how he could see where he was going. But he insisted on carrying them for his mother.

Still, I kept a hand on his little back to keep him moving in the right direction and guiding him around obstacles down the clean, white corridor.

I kept an eye on the room numbers. We went by the one Birgitta had been in after he was born. My stomach gave an unpleasant lurch as I remembered that day.

But this time was different. She would actually have a baby with her this time.

'Mummy!'

'Hey, buddy!'

Just like that, Joey thrust the roses at me and he ran for his mother.

'Oh, I missed you so much!'

Birgitta was sitting up in bed, in her dressing gown with her hair tied up and a small, pink bundle tucked safely in her arm. She lifted her free one to wrap tightly around her son as he launched himself onto the hospital bed to get to her.

'Is this her? Is this my sister?' Joey peered over her lap to examine the small bundle.

'Yes, this is your baby sister! She's been waiting all morning to meet her big brother!'

Birgitta adjusted the little baby so Joey could see her properly.

One of the worst days of my life had been shortly after we returned from our family holiday to Finland, of all places, but that's where Joey had insisted he wanted to go, and discovered that Birgitta was expecting again. Just two months after she miscarried.

We hadn't been planning it. I had resolved to myself that we would be a family of three and that was it. I was happy with that.

So we waited anxiously. Six weeks became ten, then fourteen, then twenty... all the way until thirty-eight when my wife delivered a healthy, full-term, baby girl.

And everything changed.

Our family was complete. I hadn't thought I'd be lucky enough to have two, healthy children. One was perfect, two... I had no words. I was still in a bit of a state of shock. She'd only been born just the day before. And now, seeing Joey meet his little sister for the first time felt almost like an out-of-body experience. This couldn't be my family, my life. It was all I'd ever wanted and I never dreamed I would be fortunate enough to actually have it.

I felt incredibly emotional as I watched my wife, son, and baby daughter. Birgitta pointing out her blonde hair that was exactly like Joey's had been when he was born. He touched her tiny hands and shrieked with delight when she curled her fingers around his.

'I love her so much, Mummy,' Joey said, never looking away from his sister.

'You need to help Mummy and Daddy look after her,' Birgitta told him seriously. 'She's going to need a big brother to look out for her when we're not around.'

'Joey, why don't you give Mummy her presents,' I told him, feeling my voice break.

'Are those for me?' Birgitta put a hand to her chest when I placed the large bouquet of roses on her night table.

'Yes, I picked them out all by myself,' Joey told her proudly.

'Thank you,' Birgitta squeezed him tight and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 'They're beautiful, I love them so much!'