MIDNIGHT WHISPERS| Kylia

(XVII)

When I see the smoke coming out of her mouth in a flashy way, my heart speeds up and my breathing weighs, and my mind punishes me with the confusion of my feelings.

I can't accept, I can't allow this. I can't just fall in love with someone who wouldn't give me the least I need, a sincere love without lies.

Her brown eyes stare at me cautiously, as if they were reading my confused mind. A heavy sigh escaped my lips when she stepped forward, making me smell her woody perfume.

- What is your mind mistreating you with? - she leans against her table, again bringing her cigarette.

My gaze goes down to my legs, feeling vulnerable before her eyes, vulnerable knowing that I am walking on a tightrope, and that if I can cross, I will reach the gates of hell.

- I don't know, it's a lot of things - my voice comes out dragged.

I raise my face, trying to stand firm as I look at her, feeling my heart throb with the way she looks at me.

Cantrall releases the smoke again, turning the rest of the cigarette left on the table, extinguishing it. Her gaze again turned to me, passing her tongue between her lips, taking away the rest of the brightness she had in them.

- Are you confused about something? - Her words sound calmly.

She acts as if she knew everything that happens around her, as if she knew how to analyze and interpret things exactly as they are.

Something about her makes me so confused, the mystery of her life or even the reason why she is so cold. My mind wanders through memories that don't seem real, as if I had already been by her side when I was  younger.

- How do you manage to analyze people in this way? - I question, somewhat curious, seeing a smile play on her lips.

- I've always liked to observe people, and with a psychologist mother, this becomes more interesting - she says so calmly, with her smile aside.

I can't help but be surprised and lean forward.

So your mother is a psychologist? How would a woman with an abnormal coldness be the daughter of a psychologist?

- Who is your mother? - my question comes out involuntarily.

- Louise Cantrall - she sighs, turning her ring on her finger.

I search for this name in my mind, slowly wandering about the few memories I have around my fifteen years.

I bite my lower lip, looking at the woman in front of me, vaguely remembering being in a totally white room, lying on a black leather sofa, while a woman with long black hair talked to me.

-I don't remember - I lie, leaning against the armchair.

- Don't lie, Malia - she lets out a laugh, approaching. - I know well that you are remembering many things, doll - her words make me have triggers.

- What are you talking about? Do you happen to know exactly what's happening to me? - I get up, facing her, feeling the strong smell of her perfume.

Kylie doesn't avoid looking shamelessly at my mouth, raising her cold gaze to mine again, while a smile curves on her lips.

- There are things you'll find out on your own, Baker - she puts her hand on my chin, turning my face to the other side, touching her mouth to my ear. - soon you'll remember exactly everything, love - a chill settled on my body, and my eyes closed quickly, feeling her hot breath hit my skin.

Her words make my mind much more confused, trying to search in my mind for her presence in my life, but there is nothing.

I can't remember anything, and that makes me frustrated. Everything has been so weird lately, and I don't know how to deal with it.

With the memories, with Kylie, with my father and my feelings for the woman who is at this very moment touching my skin with her cold hand.

- your perfume is very sweet - she whispers against my skin.

I fight against my desire, putting my hands on her shoulder, pushing her forward.

A question arises in my head, then by eye, trying to decipher what goes on in her head, but it is totally unpredictable.

- why did you decide to change classes a few times, for every day? - I cross my arms below my chest, seeing her gaze go down, but go up quickly.

Kylie shook her tongue, looked deep into my soul, and put her hands inside the pocket of her white sweatpants.

- You need to focus, Baker - she says, taking a deep breath, making her breath hit my face. - less time to be with those who shouldn't and at home, alone - she says strangely, making me question how she knows I'm alone.

- you scare me - I speak in a super low tone and her smile grows, bringing me a strange feeling in my chest.

- That's the intention, princess - she winks, smiling, making my heart palm.

What the fuck, what is this woman doing to me?!

Luckily for fate, the door is opened, giving me a vision of tired Joshua. He frowned, seeing my friend totally panting.

- Joshua? What happened? - I approach him, and he lets out a laugh.

- Hi, Mali - he hugs me quickly.

- it was nothing, I'm in a hurry to show the drawings to Cantrall

- he smiles awkwardly, interspersing the gaze between me and Kylie who didn't even move.

- Let's go, Joshua - Kylie passes by me with her rigid posture. - keep reading the book, Malia - she says, before leaving the room.

- see you later, Mali - Joshua sends me a kiss in the air, before closing the door.

My confused expression is remarkable, I'm really curious to know what they really solve so much. This approach of theirs is something new, before Joshua didn't even get close to Cantrall.

I ignore this and approach Kylie's table, seeing the few paintings on the bookshelf behind her chair.

The most intriguing thing is knowing that she is part of something from my past, but I can't remember her, at any time, even seeing her photos as a teenager, next to her parents, including the same woman from one of my memories.

Kylie carries a very big mystery, a mystery that I need to unravel, secrets that I am willing to discover.

I am willing to limit her sanity with all my provocations.

I put it in my head that as soon as I get home, I will research more about her family and origin.