poetry

37

the weight of silent screams:

there is a pain i cannot name,
a shadow i cannot flee,
it grips me in the dead of night,
and never sets me free.

i wear a smile to hide it,
a mask of calm and grace,
but inside, im just a fracture
thats losing every race.

i wake up every morning
with the taste of fear and dread,
i move through life a phantom,
barely tethered by a thread.

people think they know me,
they see what i allow,
but no one sees the darkness
that consumes me here and now.

im tired of feeling nothing,
of this endless, hollow ache,
of pretending im not broken,
when theres so much i cant take.

the nights are long and lonely,
the days are hard to bear,
i wish that i could tell you
just how much i need some air.

but every time i try to speak,
the words just twist and burn,
like fire in my throat
and memories i cant unlearn.

ive been hurt so many times
that i dont feel the sting,
ive been lost for so long
i dont know where to begin.

i think of all the times i fell
and no one helped me stand,
of all the times i cried for help
and all i got was dirt and sand.

i want to find some comfort,
to believe that theres a way,
but hope feels like a fairytale
that never sees the day.

i wish i could explain it,
but the words are never right,
its like im screaming underwater
in the darkest depths of night.

so if i disappear tomorrow,
like a ghost into the air,
just know it wasnt sudden,
that i fought to find repair.

but some things never mended,
some wounds dont ever close,
and sometimes all thats left of you
is a shadow no one knows.

im sorry if i leave you,
if i slip into the dark,
but im tired of the hurting,
of carrying these scars.

i hope you understand it,
this wasnt what i planned,
but sometimes life is just too heavy
for one lonely soul to withstand.