poetry

63

fractured wish:

i watch them,
these perfect people,
with their smiles that stretch wide and hearts untouched by pain.
i envy their ease,
their laughter like sunlight,
their lives untainted by the weight of wanting.

i wanted that once,
the love that doesnt feel like a burden,
the warmth that stays longer than a moment.
but instead, i learned how to be small,
how to shrink into shadows,
how to quiet the ache that screams beneath my skin.

i wanted more.
i wanted to feel enough,
to be more than a passing thought,
but they never saw me—
not really.
not when i begged with silent eyes,
not when i pretended i didnt need what everyone else had.

i look at their perfect lives,
the ones who dont carry this envy like a curse,
and i want to be them.
to be free.
to have a life where love isnt earned,
where peace isnt something i chase but never catch.

all i wanted was to be seen,
to be held in a way that didnt hurt.
but here i am,
watching from the outside,
envy curling tighter with every glance.
i just want to be loved—
the way they are,
effortless and real,
so i can finally let go
of this heaviness
and maybe, just maybe,
feel okay.

now its nothing but a fractured wish.