poetry

65

i miss you:

i miss you, mother, like breath i cant reclaim,
a shadow deep inside me, filled with shame.
your absence carved a wound, too wide to mend,
a hole that festers, swallowing my end.

regret pours in, it chokes me every night,
the final words we shared, my bitter bite.
i took for granted every gentle gaze,
your love i cast aside in thoughtless haze.

and now youre gone, im drowning in the way i cant shed tears,
a thousand whispered sorrys no one hears.
i wasnt kind enough, i wasnt true,
i hate myself for what i did to you.

i wasnt the daughter you deserved to hold,
too selfish, too distant, too callously cold.
now guilt is my companion, sharp as glass,
each memory a burden i cannot pass.

i wish that i could feel your arms again,
to hear you say, "its okay," through the pain.
but i was never enough, and thats my curse,
your love was endless, it was mine, but i made worse.

i loathe the words i didnt say in time,
i hate the way i let your light decline.
i wasnt enough, not even close, i see,
and now your ghosts the only thing in me.

im sorry.
i love you.
thank you.