I Look In People's Windows

Chapter 11

TW/mentions of eating disorder

1989

It had been a very long day. None of us wanted to go home and leave Speak Now in the hospital but the storm was supposed to pick up again tonight and they didn't want any visitors there overnight. The doctors were running tests all day but they refused to tell us anything else about Speak. We didn't know what was going to happen with her.

Sitting in the backseat of Fearless' car on the way home, I tried my best not to doze off. When we reached the house, I got out of Fearless' car stretching and sighing heavily. I needed to get some sleep and have some time alone. I didn't talk much with the others at the hospital and I wasn't around them much either. I felt their stares and the way they looked at me.

I knew what they must have thought of me now, some broken, messed up girl who couldn't eat anything. I wouldn't have even been out here if I didn't have to be. Ever since movie night two days ago, I didn't want to be around any of them because they'd pressure me to talk about things I didn't want to talk about.

Slipping off my jacket, my feet carried me down the hallway to the staircase. I was about to go to my room before Red stopped me.

“Hey, do you wanna eat something.”

“No, I'm good.”

“Please Nine? You haven't had anything all day.”

“I'm really not hungry. I'm gonna go to my room.”

“I'll come with you then.” I groaned slightly but I was too tired to argue.

Red trailed behind me as I opened my door and went inside, turning on the light. The jacket slipped from my hand as my eyes roamed over my room. Laying across the floor were all the Polaroids from my wall, the majority of them torn to pieces. I crouched down and picked up one of the pieces, fighting back tears.

“Nine. We can fix them.” I heard the uncertainty in Red's voice.

“We can't. They're ruined.” Trying my best not to start hyperventilating, my mind started racing about who could have done this if we were all at the hospital. Fearless, Debut and I were the last ones to leave the house.
I went into the hallway over to Debut's room.

“Nine, where are you going?” I didn't answer Red, determined on what I was doing. I pushed open the door to Debut's room and my eyes fell on her and Fearless in the midst of a conversation.

“Why did you tear my Polaroids?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what you did! You went into my room and tore up all the pictures from my wall!”

“No I didn't. Why would I do that?”

“What's going on?” Lover was coming up the stairs, steam rising from the cup in her hand.

“She tore all the Polaroids on my wall.”

“No I didn't!”

“All of us were at the hospital. When we were leaving this morning, you were the last one to the car! You're the only one who could have gone into my room.”

“Didn't Evermore leave the hospital during the day?” I turned to Fearless who spoke up.

“Shut up. You'll defend Debut for everything.” My attention turned back to Debut. “I can't believe you'd do that! What did I ever do to you?”

“Nine, calm down.” I felt my temper rising but also a sadness within me. Red reached out to put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

“Just leave me alone.” I shrugged her hand off and went back to my room to start picking up the pieces. Red and Lover followed me.