A/N - lots of empty spaces within this chapter, make sure to fully read it!!!
SHOULD be a chapter the 23rd, and one for sure the 26th.
Also..... starting on a new story so stay tuned for that.
....Enjoy.
(Siobhans POV)
I lie wide-eyed staring at the ceiling, my soon to be wife in my lap asleep.
I cant sleep.
Tomorrow's the day we tell everyone.
Thousands of questions swarm my mind.
What if they dont support.
What if they dont belive i actually love her.
What if-My thoughts are cut off by Vivian planting a kiss on my stomach,
V: "Darling youre zoning out plenty are you alright?"
S: "Huh? Oh. yeah bad dream.."She sits up in my lap, then switches us so im in hers.
V: "Talk to me Bon-Bon,"
S: "Its just... I dunno. Im scared. Im stressing over telling them — What if they dont take it well??"She doesn't reply and pulls me into a hug, i instantly started sobbing.
I dunno why i did.
I dunno why she loves me.
Should we really get married?
S: "Viv?" I asked while sitting up on the bed, opposite of her
V: "Yes darling?"
S: "Are you.... are you sure?"Why'd i say that. Why would i ask.
V: "Sure about what?"
S: "Everything... Me, Us...?"No backing out now.
She takes out her earbuds and i can hear Sarah by Rottweiler.
"She doesnt have a single fvcking clue
So i try my best to hate her
But i carry this familiar view
Makes me loyal,
So i play her."Did she even want me?
Often times her music matched her mood.
Is she playing me?
V: "Of course im sure? But bon-bon we dont have to get married if you dont wanna?"
She sounded so disappointed.
I couldnt propose and not go through with it.
S: "Yeah im sure, im just scared."
Play it off. Again. As always.
Viv and I talk for a bit before falling asleep. Well, she falls asleep.
I lie awake for another three hours.
Within those hours i start to hear his voice.
Feel his hands on me.I get up and go into the bathroom so i wont wake Viv.
I locked the door and sat against it, sobbing into my hands, legs curled up to my stomach.
God this is pathetic.
I look to the shower. To the razor.
I know i shouldnt.
I do it.
I took the blades out and drag them across my thigh so Viv wont see as quickly. I know my efforts are in vain as we often shower together, but the longer i hide it, the less worry she'll have. It doesnt hurt. Im practically numb to physical pain after him.
YOU ARE READING
"Can you feel the tension?" || TNN - A Shivian Sob Story || Co-Written
Romanceshivian !! (gut wrenching but happy ending :3) co written chapters 11-ending with @eyeheartmialotte